


Captain

by Purple_Mist, Sansmerci



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Build, Swearing, Training Camp, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_Mist/pseuds/Purple_Mist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sansmerci/pseuds/Sansmerci
Summary: Captain.According to the dictionary, one who leads or supervises, a person in charge, a person of importance or influence in a field, the commander.That’s me:I’m Daichi Sawamura, the captain of Karasuno boys volleyball club. Today. I finally met another captain in a practice game.And I found him a jerk.I’m Tetsurou Kuroo, the captain of Nekoma boys volleyball club. Today, I finally met a real captain in a practice game.And I found him amazing.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi & Sawamura Daichi & Sugawara Koushi, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the canon universe, which means there might be some spoilers regarding some of the events, both of the anime and the manga (there will be warnings if so)
> 
> The original fic is on Instagram, @kurodai_captain, and it's better to read it there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

Captain.

According to the dictionary, one who leads or supervises, a person in charge, a person of importance or influence in a field, the commander.

* * *

**That’s me.**

**I’m Daichi Sawamura,** **the captain of Karasuno** **boys volleyball club.**

**And that terrifies me.**

* * *

That’s me.

I’m Tetsuroo Kuroo, the captain of Nekoma boys volleyball club.

And that's awesome.

* * *

** Don’t get me wrong. I love to be their captain. But that doesn’t mean that it isn't scary. **

Don’t get me wrong. Even though I love to be their captain, it's still pretty scary.

* * *

There are five positions filled on every volleyball team. Setter, Outside Hitter/Left Side Hitter, Middle Hitter, Opposite Hitter/Right Side Hitter and Libero/Defensive Specialist.

Each of them has specific roles, techniques, and responsibilities in a match.

What is expected from each one of the players? What should a setter do? How to be a good libero?

It’s all there! Any volleyball playbook has these topics extensively discussed. The good ones even have directions for the coach!

It’s measurable! Numbers, stats. You can track your progress through your results.

There are five positions on a volleyball team.

I believe you already get what my point here is. The Captain is not one of them.

I play volleyball since I can remember, and I’ve been a captain ever since.

It’s my personality, they say.

I know how that happens, it’s always the same feeling, you start to capture that awkward situation increasing among the players, that feeling that someone must do that, the exchange of glances, that non-verbal communication.

And then, without saying a word, it’s implied among all players that you’re the captain.

And you assume the post because even you can feel the same, it has to be you, end of the question.

* * *

** Am I a good captain? The thing is, I never had the opportunity to socialize with other captains during practice games or training camps. They were always on the other side of the net. **

** I wish I could be their pal. **

** And I thought that once in high school, with the opportunity to hang around with other captains, I would be able to answer that question. **

** But unfortunately, it wasn’t like that. In my first two years at Karasuno, I only got to see other team’s captains during matches, on the other side of the net, far away. We didn't go to training camps or practice games a lot. **

** So I still miss something. **

* * *

Am I a good captain? The thing is I always socialize with other captains. We're together during practice games, training camps. And not always on opposite sides of the net.

I am their pal.

And I thought that once in high school, with the opportunity to hang around with other captains, I would be able to answer that question.

But unfortunately, it wasn’t like that. In my first two years at Nekoma, I trained and hanged out with other captains. But I only found captains like me, the funny cunning loud guy. This  isn't what I’m looking for.

So I still miss something.

* * *

** This is how this story begins. **

** Today. I finally met another captain in a practice game. **

****

** And I found him a jerk. **

* * *

This is how this story begins.

Today, I finally met a real captain in a practice game.

And I found him amazing.

* * *

** It’s Sunday morning. **

** May 6, 8:50 am. **

** We’re waiting for the Nekoma volleyball team in front of Karasuno High School building. **

** Even though I know we won’t have too much time to talk, I’m excited to meet a captain in a practice game. **

** We lined up. **

****

_** *Tall* ** _

_ *Short* _

_** *Stylish hair* ** _

_ *Seems big* _

_** *Smiling guy* ** _

_ *Serious face* _

_** *Really?* ** _

_ *Not bad, actually* _

* * *

** After going to the gym, we shook hands properly on the court. **

[Kuroo] “It’s a pleasure to meet you.  Here’s to a good game.”

[Daichi]  **“Same here. ****Let’s have a fun game.** ”

_** *He sounds completely fake. Is he trying to tease me?* ** _

_ *He sounds like a cool guy. He’s not even trying to tease me. * _

_** *I can tell this guy is a jerk.* ** _

_ *I can tell this guy looks nice.* _

**_ *Let’s play volleyball and see if there anything else there.* _ **

_ *Let’s play volleyball and see if there anything else there.* _

* * *

** I huddle with the team. **

** That’s when the team is expecting for the captains’ speech. **

** It’s hard. **

** Every game is different, you must always find the right words for that specific game and day. **

* * *

I huddle with the team.

That’s when the team is expecting for the captains’ speech.

It’s easy.

Every game is the same,  you don’t need to pick "perfect" words for that day specifically.

* * *

[Daichi]  ** “To be honest, we’re just met and we’re still awkward and uncoordinated. Plus, this is our first game using this line up. I don’t know what kind of wall we’ll be up against with Nekoma, an unknown team. But once we are up against that wall, that will be our chance to rise above it. Karasuno, fight!” **

* * *

[Kuroo] “We’re plasma. Keep the flow in motion. Distribute the oxygen, so the brain can run smoothly. Let’s go!”

* * *

**_ *Quick speech, uh? Weak.* _ **

_ *Uh, long speech? I like it.* _

* * *

** To be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe too much. **

** Ok, it was a good game. Their team is good. Way more coordinated than ours. Although less aggressive than Seijoh. Very nice libero, a pretty good setter. **

** And their captain. **

** I don’t know what I was expecting. But it wasn’t that. It was just a game, like any other. I couldn’t interact with him as I wished. **

** But it was enough. Thanks. **

* * *

To be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting. I wasn’t expecting too much.

Ok, it was a good game. Their team is good. Maybe even more talented than ours.  But surely less effective than Fukurodani. Kind of genius setter, a really sharp libero.

And their captain.

I wasn’t expecting a lot. But I wasn't expecting that! It was just a game, like any other. I couldn’t interact with him as I wished.

It wasn’t enough. Shame.

* * *

** Both teams lined up to say goodbye. **

** It’s time to shake hands with their captain. **

_** And there he comes, is he trying to crush my hand? Seriously? How old you are? Eight? ** _

_ Here he is. Same gentle smile. A stronger grip this time? Nice! I like you.  _

_** I can’t believe this is the captain I was eager to meet. Goodbye Nekoma's captain. ** _

Daichi Sawamura, isn’t it? Wanna see who wins a hand duel? I hope we see each other soon.

* * *

** The day is over. **

** I finally had the opportunity to get to know another captain better. **

** And I’m still missing something. **

* * *

The day is over.

I finally had the opportunity to get to know a different kind of captain.

Maybe I found it.

* * *

[Suga] “How do you like him?”

_** *Holy crap Suga!! How long have you been here? You scared me!! * ** _

[Daichi] **“Wha-what? Why? Who?”**

[Suga]  “I mean, their captain.”

_** *Why are you asking me about that guy, Suga? What the hell?* ** _

[Daichi] **“What's up with him? Why do you ask?”**

[Suga]  “Well, you finally had  a chance to meet another  captain a little bit better.  You always wanted that.  So, what do you think?”

_** *That shrewd type?* ** _

_** *Like he’s always looking at others from above?* ** _

_** *That constant smiling face?* ** _

_** *That hair?* ** _

[Daichi] **“Not a big deal.”**

* * *

[Kenma] “How do you like him?”

_ Holy crap Kenma!! How long have you been here? You scared me!!  _

[Kuroo] “Wha-what? Why? Who?”

[Kenma] “Their captain.”

_ Why are you asking me about him, Kenma? Is there anything you cannot catch?? _

[Kuroo] “What's up with him? Why do you ask?”

[Kenma]  “Well, you always  make acid comments  when you met new captains.  And you said nothing this time  So, what do you think?”

_ *That keen eyes?* _

_ *Like he’s always taking care  _ _ of everyone?* _

_ *That honest smile?* _

_ *That presence?* _

[Kuroo] “Not a big deal.”

* * *

** This practice match with Nekoma certainly affected our team. **

** In a good way, for sure. **

** I t was nice talking with Ukai about the old rivalry between the schools now that we know them. **

** It's like resuming ties with Nekoma could bring back the golden times of Karasuno’s volleyball team. **

** During some days after the match, it was like every player in our team was thinking about Nekoma in some way. And that kept us on fire! **

** But gradually, the memory about that game faded as the InterHigh was getting closer. **

** And then no one talks about Nekoma anymore. **

** Except by Hinata. Apparently, he developed a good relationship with Nekoma’s setter, and you can hear him talking about Kenma at least day in, day out. **

** The most annoying thing is that Kenma has the habit of insert their captain name in 9 out of 10 sentences he uses. **

_** *Does Hinata talk about me with Kenma too?* ** _

_** *Am I an absent captain? Could that guy be a better captain than me? That’s ridiculous. Of course I can be a good captain even if Hinata doesn’t talk about me all the time. Right? I really have to stop thinking  ** _ _** about that guy. It’s enough.* ** _

** Certainly, that practice match with Nekoma affected our team. In a good way, most of the time. **

* * *

This practice match with Karasuno certainly affected our team.

In a good way, for sure.

It was nice talking with Nekomata about the old rivalry between the schools now that we know them.

It's like resuming ties with Karasuno could bring back the golden times of Nekoma’s volleyball team.

During some days after the match, it was like every player in our team was thinking about Karasuno in some way. And that kept us on fire!

But gradually, the memory about that game faded as the InterHigh was getting closer.

And then no one talks about Karasuno anymore.

Except by Kenma. Apparently, he developed a good relationship with Karasuno’s shrimpy, and you can hear him talking about Hinata every once in a while.

Sadly, it seems that Hinata never talks about Daichi. I even asked Kenma about it, but nothing.

_ *I know Kenma talks about me with Hinata. * _

_ *Am I a sticky captain?* _

_ *Kenma is my best friend… do the other guys feel like I’m too sticky to them? * _

_ *Is it expected for a captain to be more reserved?* _

_ *It would be nice to know more about the captain Daichi Sawamura.* _

Certainly, that practice match with Karasuno affected our team. In a good way, most of the time.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

**If the captain is the person in charge of a team, what to say about our responsibility** **facing an elimination?**

**In times like this, I feel more alone than ever.**

**I should be taking care of the whole team, but the only thing I've done since we lost to** **Aoba Johsai yesterday was feeling sorry for myself. And Suga. And Asahi.**

 **I don’t know what makes you a good captain. But I’m certain that selfishness is not on** **the list.**

**The very first day Hinata and Kageyama came to the volleyball club, I said we’d go to the Spring Nationals.**

**I said we’d be going there one more time.**

**But I’m thinking now** **would be a good time to** **retire.**

**Ever since the third years were allowed to take part in the Spring Nationals, I wanted us to survive the elimination and go to Tokyo to play in it.**

**But seeing the first and second years in action got me thinking it would be better to** **surrender the club to them sooner than later. It would be better for the team to have it restructured around them.**

 **But Suga and Asahi convinced me that I’m allowed to be a little selfish this time. And** **speaking on my behalf, I want to play with them one more time.**

_***Damn it, I’d like to have someone to** **share these thoughts. I can’t talk with Suga about it. Maybe if I asked Hinata** _

_**about Nekoma’s captain number? No. No way, not gonna happen. Damn it.*** _

**Coach Ukai gave us the morning and afternoon off. But we decided to look at the gym anyway. We were still far when we started to listen yelling at the gym.**

**Without thinking we started to run to the gymnasium.**

_***We’re late!*** _

**The whole team is there.**

**Let’s practice!!**

**A little bit later coach Ukai arrived and we ran to asked him to coach us one more time! It was good to see his expression!**

**After a brief meeting, it’s time for the captain’s speech.**

**What about something different?**

[Daichi] **“It’s a venue that Karasuno has only been to once. The Orange Court, Tokyo! And we’re going there once again!”**

**_*A shorter speech this time. Good.*_ **

**Before we left, Hinata told me that Nekoma was also eliminated.**

_***Man, this is tough. I should have asked for Nekoma's captain’s number. Maybe he would like to chat.** _

_**It doesn’t matter now. I wouldn't know** **what to say anyway. Never mind.*** _

* * *

If the captain is the person in charge of a team, what to say about our responsibility facing an elimination?

In times like this, I feel more alone than ever.

I should be taking care of the whole team, but the only thing I've done since we lost to in the quarter-finals today was feeling eager to play again with my team. And Kenma.

I don’t know what makes you a good captain. But I’m certain that selfishness is not on the list.

Since I joined Nekoma’s team three years ago I said we'd go to the Nationals again. And this is my last year. This is my turn. I will lead Nekoma to Nationals one more time.

I can’t even think about retiring right now. We still have time. Third years are now allowed to take part in the Spring Nationals so there’s no reason to think it's over. The first and second years can think whatever they want.

Maybe it would be better for the team to start a restructuration,  but not yet. We’re still here! I don’t know if this is what a good captain should do or not. But this is how it’s going to be.

I said to the other third year that we’re allowed to be a little selfish this time. Because, speaking on my behalf, I  want to play with them one more time.

_ *Damn it, I’d like to have someone to share these thoughts. I can’t imagine seriously talking with Bokuto about it. Maybe if I asked Kenma to get me Daichi’s number? That would be really cool. Maybe I will.* _

We get even further this year. It’s true. But it’s worthless if we lost anyway. We’re not in the court anymore.

We’re out. And there’s no time to mourn.  We’re back to school after the last game. After the loss.

_ *We’re late!* _

The whole team is there. We should practice!!

Coach Nekomata arrived and told us it will be a pleasure to coach us one more time!

It was good to see his expression!

After a brief meeting, it’s time for the captain’s speech.

What about something different?

[Kuroo] “We’re plasma. That means we’re connected! Keep the flow in motion. It means, keep training, working hard. Distribute the oxygen. Because, remember, we still have oxygen! So our brain can run smoothly, at least one more time. Let’s go to the Spring Nationals, Nekoma!”

_ *A longer speech this time. Good.* _

Before we left, Kenma told me that Karasuno was also eliminated.

_ *Man, this sucks. I’m glad I didn’t ask Daichi’s number. I’m sure he’d not be in the mood to chat. _

_ It doesn’t matter now. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. Never mind.* _

* * *

**It’s been a few weeks since the match against Seijoh.**

**Either way, our team is still motivated and we’re certainly getting better each day.**

**It’s late and we’re almost done for the day when Takeda Sensei jumped into the gym:**

[Takeda] “We’re going right?”

**“Going where?” Hinata asked before anyone else.**

[Takeda] “Tokyo!”

_***Tokyo? Are we going to visit Nekoma? Is** **this going to happen a lot now?*** _

[Takeda] “It won’t be just Nekoma this time. The Fukurodani Academy Group, it’s a group of schools from the Kanto region that includes Nekoma. They practice with each other all the time…”

**I wasn’t paying attention anymore.**

_***So, that’s it. It’s happening. We’re going to train with powerhouses now. I‘ll have to put up with that guy more than I was expecting to.*** _

**Coach Ukai and Takeda Sensei kept on talking about connections and relationships…**

_***I can worry about that captain later. Now, we’re going to Tokyo to retake our place! *** _

[Takeda] “For now, I’ll assume the team wishes to attend?”

**This time, I answered before Hinata:**

[Daichi] **“Of course!”**

* * *

It’s been a few weeks since we lost the InterHigh prelims.

Either way, our team is still motivated and we’re on the right track.

It’s late and we’re almost done for the day when the Coach called us for some news.

[Nekomata] “We’re going to have visitors in the training camp this year.”

“Girls teams?” Yamamoto asked before anyone else.

[Nekomata] “Karasuno!”

_*Karasuno? Are they coming to visit us? Is this going to happen a lot now?*_

[Nekomata] “Over the years, we’ve lost our connections with Karasuno’s team. But we used to be close. And I’m glad we can resume our relationship with them. Most of you know that, back in my time …”

I wasn’t paying attention anymore.

_*So, that’s it. It’s happening. We’re going to train with Karasuno more often now. I’ll finally be able to hang out with Daichi as I wanted!*_

Coaches Nekomata and Naoi kept on talking about connections and relationships...

_*This is going to be great! I’ll keep a close eye on that guy!*_

[Nekomata] “So, let’s keep working to welcome them as they deserve!”

This time, I answered before Yamamoto:

[Kuroo] “Of course!”

* * *

** It’s Saturday morning. We’re on our way to Tokyo. It’s a long way, and I woke up early. But, I can’t sleep on the bus. **

_** *I think I should go straight up to their captain as we get there, right? I mean, I’m Karasuno’s captain, he’s the captain of our hosts. It’s our role, right?* ** _

**Almost 5 hours later we finally get to Nekoma High School building. I left the bus and it wasn’t hard to find their captain since he was laughing sterically about god knows what.**

* * *

It’s Saturday morning.  It’s way too soon to wake up for the practice game today.  But I can’t sleep.

_ *I think I should go straight up to talk to Daichi when they arrive, right? I mean, He’s  Karasuno’s captain, I’m their host. It’s my role, right?* _

Almost 5 hours later we were waiting for them in front of the building. Some of Karasuno’s players thought the transmission tower was the Skytree. Man! That was hilarious!!

* * *

** I walk over to him and stop by his side.  **

**_ *What should I say? Nothing. I’m here. I’ve presented myself. Now it’s his turn. I’ll be quiet waiting. Isn’t he going to say anything??* _ **

I see Daichi coming. He stops by my side.

_ *What should I say? I must say something! He showed up. I’m the host. I gotta say something. Say something smart, Kuroo. Anything!* _

[Kuroo] “Hey, come to think of it... aren’t you missing some people?”

_ *WHAT?? That was my catchline?? Ohh what’s wrong with me?!* _

**_ *Oh! Ok. I was expecting some joke or catchphrase. I like it better this way.* _ **

[Daichi] **“Actually, Hinata and Kageyama failed in an exam this week and…”**

**_* Is he paying attention? What an idiot! I’m talking with him and he’s rambling on?! I'm talking and he seems to be thinking about something else. What the hell.*_ **

_ * He looks more relaxed today. He looks like a way cooler captain than me. I could mimic his captain's way to talk and walk. With that calm expression. Like: I know  _ _ everything but didn’t want to show off. Ok, keep talking, Kuroo.* _

[Kuroo] “So, the power duo’s taking some supplementary exams right now?” 

**_ *Oh… he was listening? That’s surprising…* _ **

_ *He has such a nice smile. Look at this…* _

Suddenly, Yamamoto was on the floor panicking because of our managers.

That scene cut out our chatting. Suga and Asahi joined us.

[Kuroo] “All right, when you ready, come to the gym. The other guys are already there.”

_*** He sounded formal this time. That’s why we here, Daichi! Let’s play volleyball.*** _

_ *Annnd his smile is gone! That’s why they’re here, Kuroo. To play volleyball.* _

* * *

Once we got to the gym, we were side by side again.

[Kuroo] “Once you’re done with your warm-ups, we’ll regroup and the teams will play each other in rotation…”

** He keeps explaining how the matches and penalties would work. **

**_ *He sounds more like a captain now. Maybe he's not a complete idiot after all.* _ **

_ *Did I forget to say something? I need to make a good impression this time.* _

* * *

**It was a great weekend. It was really nice to practice with powerhouses.**

It was a great weekend. It was really nice to practice with Karasuno.

We’re preparing to leave, and once again we’re side by side.

It just feels like that's the right thing to do. Being side by side.

[Kuroo] “I’m mentioning this a bit late, but it looks like all your third-years stuck around, too.”

[Daichi] **“Yeah. You guys ended up going against last year’s winners on the second day, right? During the InterHigh prelims? I heard that from Hinata.”**

[Kuroo] "Yeah, we got knocked out in the quarterfinals."

[Daichi] **"Pretty amazing being in the top eight in all of Tokyo though."**

[Kuroo] "There’s no point if we don’t win."

[Daichi] **"You’re right."**

That was the first thing we agreed on, Captain.

* * *

**Once again, we’re traveling to Tokyo. This time, we’re going to Shinzen High School, the training camp will be held there this year.**

Another training camp will begin today! This time we’re going to Shinzen High School. The training camp will be held there this year.

**_ *There’s no need to look for Nekoma’s captain this time. It’s not our first time anymore, and they aren't our hosts  now. He won’t be waiting for Karasuno. Maybe Ogano will welcome the team this  time. Nekoma’s captain won’t be there. I mean, not waiting for us. I think.* _ **

_ *Officially, there’s no need for me to wait for Daichi since we’re not the hosts anymore. But, they’re Karasuno, I’m Nekoma. I should be there. We were the ones that invited them. I mean, it’s like we’re the hosts. We’ll get there earlier... I should welcome them. I think…* _

As soon as they arrived, I was there waving to Daichi.

_***Ok. That was nice. Maybe this camp will change my impressions of him.*** _

_ *Hey, he looks a little bit less defensive this time. Maybe it's a new start.* _

* * *

This time, it was Hinata’s who thought that a common transmission tower was the Skytree.

[Kuroo] “What the hell? Are there no transmission towers in Miyagi? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that conversation before.”

[Daichi] **“To us country folks, all steel towers in Tokyo look like the Tokyo Tower."**

**_*Annnd the jerk is back. It didn’t last that much.*_ **

_*Ohh he got mad. How cute!*_

* * *

**When the matches for the day were over, I checked my phone and there was a message from him in my inbox.**

At the end of the day, I decided to ask Daichi to join Bokuto, Akaashi, and I for some late training. Who knows?

[07:11 pm: Hey man, it's Kuroo. We're training some spikes and blocks in gym 3. What about joining us? With me and Bokuto it would be almost a full Captain Squad, uh?]

_***I bet it was you, Hinata...*** _

_*Yeah, I asked Kenma for his number...*_

* * *

**I read the message and lock the screen. I’m way too tired to think about it now.**

**Then Suga asked me to join them at the hill behind the gym.**

_***Captains Squad... I have things to do with my teammates, you know? We trained a lot with other players during the day. I’ll come up with something better to do with the guys.*** _

[Daichi] **“Let’s go borrow the coach’s tablet and watch some videos of synchronized attacks!”**

_***Great, Tanaka and Suga are in!** _

**_I have to stay with them_.***

* * *

I waited a little to see if he would reply.

Nothing.

Then, Bokuto and Akashi  asked me to join them at the court.

_ *It’s was a friendly invitation, right? He has no reason to be mad at me again.  _ _ It’s a nice thing to do among captains. He'll_ _be here soon. He’s probably coming right now.* _

[Bokuto] “Look!  It's that Karasuno guy.  The tall one”

_ *The tall one? Ok, maybe he’s not coming. Go practice, Kuroo!”* _

* * *

**It’s 2am and I’m still awake.**

**It was a hard training day, but I can't seem to fall asleep.**

_***It would be rude if I didn’t reply.*** _

**I read his message again, trying to choose the right tone for a reply. I typed 4 different** **ones so far.**

**[02:05 am: Hey, Kuroo-san. Thank you for calling me, but the guys insisted to go watch some synchronized attacks videos with them after the matches and I couldn’t say no, you know. Sorry for the hour. See you tomorrow.]**

* * *

It’s almost 2am and I give up, I'm going to sleep.

I’ve checked my notifications  6 times by now.

_ *This is ridiculous.* _

I stick my phone in my bag and close it, throwing it away from me and covering my head with pillows so I won't hear it.

* * *

**We woke up earlier than usual, but still, most of the teams were already at the cafeteria for breakfast.**

**I wonder if he’s going to mention anything** **in front of the other guys.**

_***Good, he’s not here.*** _

* * *

I’m late. Nobody woke me up, I didn’t listen to my stupid alarm and now I have to hurry so the coach won’t yell at me.

I need to stop acting like an idiot and go back to the old and good Kuroo.

_ *Where the fuck is my cellphone?* _

**[02:05 am: Hey, Kuroo-san. Thank you for calling me, but the guys insisted to go watch some synchronized attacks videos with them after the matches and I couldn’t say no, you know. Sorry for the hour. See you tomorrow.]**

Great! Now I’m smiling at a screen. I’m so screwed.

* * *

**During the break, I was eating with Asahi and Tanaka when he suddenly materializes in front of us.**

During the break, I decided to apologize to Daichi about Tuskishima last night! That was stupid.

[Kuroo] “Sorry, by the way!”

**_*What?? Please don’t say anything about late practices, late messages… Please don’t say anything…*_ **

_*I don’t want him thinks one of his players is fucked because of me. I should apologize, right?*_

[Daichi] **“About what?”**

[Kuroo] “I might have gotten Specs on your team into a foul mood yesterday.”

_***So he practiced with Tsukishima, then…*** _

_*I’m sorry, Daichi, it wasn’t my intention…*_

[Daichi] **“So, Tsukishima, even by chance, helped out with personal training?”**

**_*Hmpf...*_ **

_*Well… yeah… why?*_

[Daichi] **“So, what did you say?”**

[Kuroo] “I provoked him, saying that he’d lose against Shorty on your team.”

**_*You provoked him? No shit…*_ **

_*I know, I know…*_

**_*Tsukishima is a special case indeed. Well, it was nice of him bringing this to us. It’s something a captain would do.*_ **

_*Tsukishima looks like a special case, but I didn’t know that. I just thought you should know… I’m trying to be nice, okay...*_

**Later, I hear Yamaguchi and Hinata talking about Tsukishima practicing with them again.**

_***Maybe I should check my notifications…*** _

_***Nothing…*** _

Later, Tsukishima appears to practice with us again. Alone.

_ *Maybe I should send him a message again?* _

_ *No… never mind…* _

* * *

Today is the fourth day of training camp and it's probably the hottest one so far.

** During the break, I decided to seat alone in the hill, just to cool off. **

During the break, I decided to go and look for Daichi, just to catch up.

** It didn’t take long until he appeared. **

It didn’t take long to find him... alone this time.

[Kuroo] “Hey captain! How are you doing?”

[Daichi] **“Why do you call me that?”**

[Kuroo] “Because you’re a captain.”

[Daichi] **“So are you.”**

[Kuroo] “Yeah… but when I look at you I feel like I should call you Captain.”

[Daichi] **“Ok, now you’re mocking at me.”**

[Kuroo] “Hahaha of course I am!”

We stayed quiet for a bit.

[Kuroo] “How are you liking the camp so far?”

[Daichi] **“It’s great! Our team's still improving. Our attacks are getting sharper. Our defense is getting better.”**

[Kuroo] “You see? I ask you a question and you answer for the team. Unless you ask me something  about my team, I’d always assume that you’re talking about me personally.”

[Daichi] **“Maybe I’m just over-worried all the time. It must be nice to be cooler sometimes.”**

[Kuroo] “Oohhh it’s that a little ice melting from your heart, Daichi?”

[Daichi] **“Now you’re calling me icy? Would you mind to decide?”**

[Kuroo] “Man… we suck talking with each other… we should do this more often…”

[Daichi] **“Sorry I was just…”**

[Kuroo] “Naah, relax… I’m mocking at you again…”

[Daichi] **“Hmmm ok”**

[Kuroo] “Why didn’t you showed up to train with us at gym 3 none of these days?”

[Daichi] **“I don’t know… it’s just… I don’t know…”**

_ ***He got up laughing. Talking with Kuroo is like being in a roller coaster! Damn it!*** _

_ *Ok, it’s enough Kuroo… Let him be... Why do I even try? Damn it!* _

[Kuroo] “Ahh never mind, Captain. Let's go,  We still have a few more chances to crush you today!”

**_ *Gosh! What was this conversation?!* _ **

_ *Gosh! What was this conversation?!* _

* * *

** At the end of the day, while we waited for the other guys, Suga and Asahi were acting weird. **

_** *Oh no. What are they up to this time?* ** _

****

[Suga] “Hey Daichi,  I was thinking…”

[Daichi] ** “What is it, Suga?” **

_** *Ok, here it comes.* ** _

[Suga] “Well, I was wondering…  Have you ever thought  about having someone?”

[Daichi] ** “What? What do you mean? What’s going on, Suga?” **

[Suga] “Nothing! It’s just… you know… you never talk about these things with us…  Right, Asahi?”

[Asahi] “Me? Oh… yeah… I mean… you know you can talk with us if you want to, right?  About… you know… about… anything.”

_** *What the fuck is happening?* ** _

** Suga pretended to be organizing the water bottles while Asahi tied his shoes. And I ... I pretended not to know what they're talking about. **

****

[Daichi] ** “Ok guys, don’t you think we should be practicing our serves or receives?” **

[Suga] “Sure! We can talk  about it later…”

[Daichi] ** “Talk about what? Look guys, I don’t know what you are up to…” **

[Suga] “It’s nothing specific, you know. It’s more like in general. IF you want to talk with  us about ANYTHING, you know…”

[Daichi]  ** “Ok. There’s nothing to talk about. What is up with you two today. Let’s practice.” **

_** *Man, what’s happening!?* ** _

_** *What was this interrogation? Did**_ _ **I say something? ** _ _** What the hell…* ** _

* * *

At the end of the day, while we waited for Akaashi and the other guys, I decided to talk with Bokuto.

_ *Oh God, I hope I won’t regret this.* _

[Kuroo]  “Hey man,  can I ask you something?”

[Bokuto]  “Sure bro! What’s up?”

_ *Ok, here it comes.* _

[Kuroo]  “I was wondering… Do you think I could have someone... like you have Akaashi?”

[Bokuto] “What? Do you mean a setter? You have Kenma!”

[Kuroo]  “No, not like this. I mean… someone to be with... you know? Like… you and Akaashi. You’re together, right?”

[Bokuto]  “Yeah! We’re always together. I mean, we’re not together right now, but... Oh wait...Where’s Akaashi? Agaashii? Akaashiii!!”

_ *Ohh this was a terrible idea!* _

Bokuto ran to the door and came back not even a minute later, pulling the younger man along.

[Bokuto]  “...I don’t know, he’s acting weird. Talking about having people and stuff.  Come and see it”

[Akaashi]  “What’s the matter,  Kuroo-san?”

[Kuroo]  “Nothing… I was just… it’s nothing Akaashi… forget it.”

[Bokuto]  “See! I told you he’s weird. I think he’s lonely! Do you wanna a hug bro? Akaashi! Let’s give him a hug,  come here!”

[Akaashi]  “I don’t think he needs a hug right now, Bokuto-san. Let's leave him alone and go to practice!”

_ *Thanks Akaashi. I owe you one.* _

_ *Asking Bokuto for relationships advice! What will be your next great idea, Kuroo?* _

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** It’s late. I left the dorms to take a walk. **

** Tomorrow will be the last day of camp. We’ll go back to our old routine. **

** No more practice games, no more talks with other team’s players… **

It’s late. After training with the  guys, I came to sit alone here in the hill.

Tomorrow will be the last day of camp. We’ll go back to our old routine. 

I always feel sad when the training camp is over.

_** *Ok, I’m clearly more upset than I thought I would be.* ** _

_ *I have to admit, the training camp this year was really different because Karasuno was here.* _

_** *No more Karasuno-Nekoma rivalry. No more...* ** _

_ *Is that Daichi? So, this is how it’s gonna be? I think of you and you pop up in front of me?* _

[Kuroo] “Hey Captain!”

_** *Who the hell stays seated quietly in the  middle of the hill behind the gym at this hour?! Kuroo! You’re such a difficult devil!* ** _

_ *Why he always looks scared when I  talk with him? I didn’t scream or  anything.* _

[Daichi] **“Hi, Kuroo-san.”**

[Kuroo] “Where is “the captain  who doesn’t hang out with others” going?"

**_ *Don’t tease me, Kuroo. I’m not in the mood.* _ **

_ *A little joke to break the ice?* _

[Daichi] **“Yeah, maybe I’m not part of the Captains Squad.”**

[Kuroo] “That's not what I said! I’m just joking.”

[Daichi] **“Why are you always joking?!”**

[Kuroo] “Why are you always so serious? Don’t you ever relax?”

[Daichi] **“I relax! With my friends!”**

[Kuroo] “Oooohhh so that’s it? Now you’re the “I didn’t come here to make friends” type?”

[Daichi] **“That’s not what I said! I’m just saying that I’m not like you Kuroo.”**

[Kuroo] “Oh, there’s no need to tell me that! I know that YOU are not like ME, Captain!”

[Daichi] **“Great! At least you’re not blind! You know what? Never mind.”**

[Kuroo] “Never mind? No, I don’t think so! What’s your problem Daichi?”

[Daichi] **“YOU! You’re my problem Kuroo!! Since the first day we met, I’ve been trying to keep up with you! And you didn’t make any of this easy, you know? I can’t** ** understand you! All about you pisses me off!” **

[Kuroo] “I didn’t make it easy!? I didn’t make it easy!? You know what? Maybe we’re not that different in the end... Because I ALSO DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU, DAICHI! Oh! And look!! YOU PISS ME OFF TOO!!”

** My heart’s beating so fast I could punch  him! Why does he piss me off so much?! **

My heart’s beating so fast I could punch  him! Why does he provoke me that much?!

We stared at each other for a few seconds.

[Daichi] **“I’m glad we’d talked,** ** Kuroo-san.” **

[Kuroo] “Oh! One more  difference!  I AM NOT!”

** I turn around and go back to the dorms. **

I throw myself on my back on the lawn.

_** *What an excellent last night! You son of  a bitch! * ** _

_ *What an excellent last night! You son of a bitch! * _

** Walking back to the dorms, I suddenly feel like an idiot. **

Laying in the ground after he left, I suddenly feel so lonely.

[A/N: Look for Alice Cooper signing “Poison”. Listen and try to understand how confused Daichi is as he returns to the dorms after this fight. Also, look for Phillip Phillips singing “We’ve got tonight”. Listen and try to understand how Kuroo is feeling while he's laying in the lawn after this fight.]

* * *

** Suga was awake when I entered the dorm. We've known each other since our first year of High School and we shared so many things so far. He’s one of my best friends but this time, I didn’t tell him anything about what’s happening. Maybe because not even I know what the fuck is going on. **

****

[Suga]  “Where were you, Daichi?  Is everything ok?”

_** *No Suga, nothing is ok! I’m trying to hide this from you since the beginning and failing miserably, right? I bet you've noticed something is wrong with me. Maybe you could explain to me… uh?* ** _

_** *No, it isn’t fair involving you in this. Nothing is ok, Suga.  And I don’t even know why.  What should I tell you? That I like him?  I don’t! So what is wrong with me?* ** _

_** *Why am I acting like an idiot since we came here?  I don’t like him. I’m not gonna tell you that. It’s not gonna happen.* ** _

_** *Yeah, it would be nice to talk with you about it, Suga.* ** _

_** *But I won’t.* ** _

_** *I’m sorry.* ** _

** I opened the best fake smile that I could find to say: **

[Daichi] ** “Nothing. I was just walking.” **

****

** In less than a second, I hear Suga’s voice again: **

****

[Suga]  ** “How do you like him?” **

****

_** *How do I like him? How do you know I was with him? Why is everyone asking me questions that I don’t know the answer today? He’s annoying. He’s smart. T**_ _**hat hair keeps haunting me whenever he passes by. I feel like I’m stupid every time he’s around. Oh Suga, how can explain this to you. Have you ever felt like this? It’s only me or do you also think that he looks spicier with that  Nekoma red uniform? I don’t like him, Suga. I don’t!* ** _

_** *How do I like him, Suga?* ** _

** This time I close my eyes. I take a deep breath and say: **

[Daichi]  ** “I think he’s more than I want him to be.” **

****

** Suga stood up and  put his hand on my  shoulder: **

[Suga] “Would you feel better if we talked about it?”

** I looked at him and the answer came out of my mouth almost immediately: **

****

[Daichi] ** “Not yet, Suga. Can we do that another day?” **

****

** Suga’s reply was almost covered by his  sweet laugh: **

[Suga]  “Sure we can, don’t worry”

* * *

That night I couldn’t sleep. Of  course I couldn’t. I pretended to be sleeping as much as I could to avoid draw Kenma’s attention while he plays his games. I keep thinking I can fool him.

My eyes were wide open staring the ceiling when he asked without taking his eyes off the screen:

[Kenma] “Do you want to talk about him, Kuro?”

_ *What? What is he talking about? Does he know?* _

_ *Of course he knows, he’s Kenma. I’m sure he knows. What do you know Kenma?  Not even I know. Do I wanna talk about it? You bet I want.* _

_ *Right now?  Why are you asking me that, Kenma? Would you wanna talk with me about it?  What if I wanted, what would I say?* _

_ *Do I know which words to use? Would I be able to explain this?  Kenma, I don’t even know how to talk about it to myself.* _

_ *Do you really wanna know?  Could you tell me what you know about it?* _

_ *Please?* _

_ *Help me.* _

And, without taking my eyes from the ceiling, I said:

[Kuroo] “I think I’m in love, Kenma.”

In less than a second, I heard  Kenma’s voice:

[Kenma] “How does he look like?”

_ *Why am I even chocked? It’s Kenma. Does he know everything? Oh Kenma, I don’t know if I want to talk about it anymore. How does he look like?* _

_ *How do you know it’s him? Is there anything you don’t know? What do you think, Kenma? What do you think about him? Do you think I have a chance? You know how he looks like. Do you want to hear it from me? How can I put that in words?* _

_ *You know him. Do you know you know him? You know what he looks like.* _

This time I close my eyes. I take a deep breath and say:

[Kuroo] “He looks like everything I've ever wanted.”

Kenma turned off his game, and without looking at me, asked:

[Kenma] “Would you feel better if I knew who he is?”

I looked at him and the answer came out of my mouth almost immediately:

[Kuroo] “Not yet, Kenma! D-do you know who he is?”

Kenma’s short reply was almost covered by the sound of his game turning on again:

[Kenma] “No, don’t worry.”

* * *

** The first team we saw the next day was Nekoma. **

The first team we saw the next day was Karasuno.

**_ *Of course, it would be Nekoma* _ **

_ *Ohh c’mon, give me a break* _

** I walked towards Kuroo. Trying to avoid eye contact. **

I walked towards Daichi. He was not looking at me.

[Daichi] **"I’m... sorry I yelled yesterday...** ** I was just weary." **

[Kuroo]  "I’m sorry too. I didn’t  mean.. to say any of that."

[Daichi]  ** "Me neither..." **

We shook hands and turned around to our teams.

**_ *Ok, that was good.* _ **

_ *Ok, that was terrible.* _

* * *

Entering the court is magic, you immediately forget about whatever is happening outside and focus on the ball. As soon the first serve is released all your problems are gone.

**_ *Yes, I can still see Kuroo on the other side of the net. But he’s just Nekoma’s captain, nothing more.* _ **

_ *Yes, I can still see Daichi on the other side of the net. But he’s just Karauno’s captain, nothing more.* _

But I can’t play for 24 hours a day.

* * *

** As the day passed by, that feeling of “it’s over” was increasing. **

** Suga is scolding Asahi for saying that maybe we never come back. **

_** *Of course we’ll come back.* ** _

_** *Coming back means that we qualified for the next phase. Coming back means we’ll see Nekoma's team one more time. At least one more time.* ** _

* * *

As the day passed by, that feeling of “it’s over” was increasing.

We’ll have more practice games during the summer. But maybe, not all of us.

_ *Of course they’ll qualify for the next phase. Qualifying means that they’ll come back. Qualifying means that is not over yet. Qualifying means I’ll see him one more time. At least one more time.* _

* * *

Later, during the barbecue, everyone's moods were softened, and for some time we were just a group of friends hanging out together. Kuroo, Suga and I talked about possible adversaries. Bokuto brought back old funny stories trying, unsuccessfully, to make Tsukishima laugh.

But in a glance, it was all over, and we were at dorms packing to go back home.

* * *

** As soon as everybody was on the bus, I felt like I was leaving something behind. **

****

_** *Did I take all my bags? Did we close all the windows? Turn off the lights? What is it?* ** _

_** *I better go back and check. I know I forgot something!* ** _

[Daichi] **“Hey guys, I feel like I forgot something back at the dorms, I’m sorry, I’ll be right back.”** [Daichi] 

** I put on my jacket and ran back inside. **

_** *The light was on. That was it, I knew it.* ** _

* * *

Karasuno's team just turned towards the bus.

I don’t know where to go.

I start to wander inside the building and find myself right in front of their dorm room.

_ *What are you doing, Kuroo? He’s not here anymore.* _

I turned on the lights, closed the door behind me, and went to the back of the room. I put my hands on the wall as I lower my head and frown.

* * *

** I opened the door and stepped inside, and there he was, Kuroo. **

** He was leaning on his hands at the back wall of the room with his head pending down. **

** As the door closed behind me, he turned with a jump and faced me. **

** The air was heavy, like if it was solid. Kuroo was looking so ** ** different. No smiles, no sharped eyes. I simply cannot read his expression. **

****

_** *I have to say something.* ** _

****

* * *

_ *What am I doing? Am I able to materialize him here? * _

_ *I wish you were here, Daichi.* _

The door opens and closes. Startled, I turn around with a jump.

_ *Daichi! Here’s here. He’s definitely here. I called him and he’s here.* _

I could feel the air getting heavier around us.

_ *I can’t hold this anymore. It’s time.* _

I started to walk towards him, and at the same time, he started talking:

[Daichi] **“Hey, I was…”**

**I couldn’t say anything else. He walked fast in my direction. Too fast. He stopped close to me. Too close. **

****

_** *What's this? What is he going to do?* ** _

* * *

I moved so fast that when I tried to stop, I was too close to stepping back. He stopped talking.

_ *I did it. I’m here. So close. I can’t stop now. I must do this.* _

_ *Should I? I gotta keep him here, close. Oh my God Kuroo DO something!* _

* * *

** And then, suddenly, he raised his right hand a bit in a movement suggesting a handshake. **

****

_** *A handshake? That’s it? Ok, not too bad.* ** _

****

** I looked down into his hand. I was completely dominated there, like obeying orders. **

** Passively, I gave him my hand. **

* * *

I raised my hand without thinking. A handshake gesture.

_ *A handshake?? A handshake, you idiot?? Ohh I’m gonna kill myself.* _

I could feel my heartbeat increasing, so fast. Daichi looked down and shook my hand.

_ *Oh no no no, it’s not a handshake that I want, Daichi Sawamura!* _

* * *

** And then, everything happened. Everything was so quick, but I can remember every movement as if it was in slow motion. **

****

** His left hand grabbed my left collar and he pulled me with both hands towards him. In a reflexive movement, I held his left wrist firmly with my left ** **hand, but I offered no resistance. **

****

** And I could feel his kiss into my lips. **

* * *

And then, everything happened. Everything was so quick, but I can remember every movement as if it was in slow motion.

I grabbed his left collar with my left hand and pulled him close with both of my hands. He immediately held my left wrist firmly with his left hand but offering no resistance.

And I could feel his lips into my kiss.

* * *

** I tightened my grip on his wrist even more. I could hear him inhale slowly but vigorously as he pressed his lips hard against mine. **

****

**At that was the moment when his scent reached me. I felt my hand loosening the grip as my eyes closed. It was my turn to inhale deep. **

****

_** *I can’t believe he kissed me!* ** _

****

** I woke up! **

** And with a quick movement, I pushed him away. **

* * *

I took a deep breath as if trying to fill myself entirely with that kiss.

I could feel he tighten his grip on my wrist.

Then he slowly relaxed, like he was about to surrender, and I could feel his breath on my cheeks.

_ *I can’t believe I kissed him.* _

Suddenly, it was over. He pushed me back almost with violence.

* * *

** I opened my eyes and this time, his were open too, looking directly at me like… **

****

_** *Like what for the God's sake? What does this look mean?* ** _

_ *Why? What happened? Daichi? Please don’t look at me like that.* _

** I take a step back. Slowly. **

****

_** *Did I notice a slight change in his **_ _**expression? I can’t read you, Kuroo. I have to get out of here.* ** _

_ *Why are you stepping back? Why I can’t move? Why won't my body move?  Don’t! Don’t go away. Please.* _

_** *I’m still not in charge of myself.* ** _

_ *I still cannot move.* _

** Another step back. **

_** *His expression changed, I’m sure this time. Is he asking me something? When did you stop being that talkative guy, Kuroo? SAY SOMETHING, DON’T LOOK ME LIKE THAT. Please, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what you want me to say.* ** _

* _Why is he looking at me like that? Daichi, don’t go away. Don’t leave me like this. You can't go away like this. Say something, yell at me, punch me, anything. Just please don’t look at me like that. Please stay. We_ _ have time, we should have.* _

** As I tried to take another step, I felt my back touching the door. **

"I’m… sorry."

** I still can't believe I turned around, opened that door, got out of that dorm, and managed to get back to the bus. **

I watched him turn around, open the door, and leave me behind. I still can't believe I managed to get out of that dorm and go to our bus.

** I’m seated beside Suga, trying not to draw any attention to myself. **

I’m seated beside Kenma,  trying not to draw any attention to myself.

_** *Can they smell Kuroo's scent in me too?* ** _

_** *Will my heart ever beat normally again? Did I say I’m sorry? Or did I just **_ _**imagine?* ** _

_** *Am I sorry?* ** _

_ *Can he feel I’m panting?* _

_ *Will my heart ever stop hurting? Did I say I’m sorry? Or did I just imagine?* _

_ *I don’t want to feel sorry.* _

**_ *How long until we get home?* _ **

**_ *How long until we get back?* _ **

_ *How long until we get home?* _

_ *How long until you come back, Daichi?* _

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** I've been training harder than ever! Well done, Captain. **

** After I realized that I was developing a kind of phobia from my phone, I decided to get over this shit and focus on training. **

** I practice, run and work out all my free time, so when I get home I'm so tired I fall asleep right away. **

** At least that was good for something. **

** Ok, I confess it wasn't that easy. **

** I realized that I got used to seeing him every day. And pretending that that last day didn't happen wasn't helping. **

** To be honest I was waiting for a message, or a call, or anything from him. At the same time, I was freaking out thinking of what to do if he contacted me. **

** And still, there was that kiss... **

** I wish things had been different. **

** The time passed pretty fast, and tomorrow we're going to the Interhigh qualifiers. **

** There's so much at stake this weekend. **

** But first, we have to win! One game at a time. **

** Then... well, then we'll see. **

* * *

I've been training harder than ever! Well done, Captain.

I spent a day or two mourning, then I decided to move on! I can't keep looking at my phone waiting for a message that will never come.

I'm training hard, running, and even working out to keep my mind busy. It doesn't work perfectly but...

At least that was good for something.

Ok, I'm not saying it was easy for me.

I wrote so many messages to send, I rehearsed so many words to say. I imagined so many different scenarios.

I started to think about all the things I should have said or done. Then, everything I shouldn't have said or done. In other words, I was losing my mind.

And still, there was that kiss...

I wish things had been different.

The time passed pretty fast, and tomorrow they're going to the Interhigh qualifiers.

I'm trying to not think about what could happen.

In fact, that shouldn't affect me after all.

Still... well, we'll see.

* * *

** We won! **

** We qualified! **

** We're going to the Interhighs in October. **

** The Spring Nationals is still alive for us! **

** We won! **

** We're going to the next phase. **

** But, we're still going back to Tokyo before that...  **

* * *

** Do you know when you get hurt in the middle of a game, but because of the hype, you don't feel pain? **

** And then, when your blood cools, it comes burning you like hell? **

** You got it. **

** In less than a month, we'll be returning to Tokyo, and now everything is crumbling over my head. **

* * *

Do you know when you study so much for a test that you even forget about what is around you?

Kenma just told me that Karasuno won the qualifier round.

You got it.

In less than a month, they'll be returning to Tokyo, and now everything is crumbling over my head.

* * *

** [01:16 am: Hi Kuroo-san. How are you? I was...] **

**... deleted... **

** [01:17 am: Hey, man. What's up?] **

**...deleted... **

** [01:33 am: Hi Kuroo-san. I need to talk...] **

**...deleted... **

** [01:46 am: Hey, man. Did you see that we won...] **

**...deleted... **

** [01:59 am: Hey, Kuroo. We need to talk...] **

**...deleted... **

_** *Oh I hate myself!* ** _

* * *

[04:20 pm: Hi Sawamura-san. I was thinking...]

...deleted...

[04:24 pm: Hey, man. how are you?]

...deleted...

[05:10 pm: Hi Daichi. I think we need to talk...]

...deleted...

[05:19 pm: Hey, captain. How are you doing...]

...deleted...

[05:28 pm: Hey, it's me, Kuroo. I heard the news...]

...deleted...

_ *Oh I hate myself!* _

* * *

** We're going back to Tokyo in less than 3 weeks. **

** I know I've been repetitive. I'm sorry. **

** I'll try to stop panicking and deal with it another time... later... **

** That's everything I have for now... **

* * *

I'll see Daichi again in less than 3 weeks.

I know I've been repetitive. I'm sorry.

I'm trying to solve this. Maybe I have a plan, but I can't confirm anything yet...

That's everything I have for now...

* * *

** It’s Saturday morning, 15 days until we go back to Tokyo for training. **

** I spoke with Suga on the phone and left home to find him. He asked me to meet him at Karasuno’s club room. He said he had something to show me. It’s Saturday morning, 9 am. What can it be? **

_** *What the hell Hinata and Kageyama did this time?* ** _

****

** Suga was waiting for me with a serious expression. **

[Suga] "Hey Daichi"

[Daichi]  ** "What’s up, Suga? What is wrong? Did the first years mess up with something?" **

[Suga]  "No, no. Here, take the club room keys, there’s something I want you to see. Don’t ask, and don’t be mad at me."

[Daichi]  ** "What is going on?" **

[Suga]  "Please, do that for me."

** I gave up and did what he asked. They must be planning a prank. **

_** *Won't he even goes up the stairs? Did they break something?* ** _

* * *

It’s Saturday morning, 15 days until Karasuno comes to Tokyo for training.

I sent Suga a message and left home to take the train. He asked me to meet him at Karasuno’s club room. He explained to me the directions one more time last night and I thanked him again.

_ *It’s just four hours, Kuroo.* _

_ *You can do it.* _

Suga was waiting for me with a friendly expression.

[Suga] "Hey Kuroo"

[Kuroo] "Hi, Suga. Thanks again for doing this, man. I owe you one!"

[Suga]  "It’s ok Kuroo-san. Come, he’ll be here soon. I think it’s better for you to wait for him in the club room."

[Kuroo] "Sure, let’s go."

[Suga] "Come with me."

I entered the room and started walking in circles waiting for Daichi.

_ *I’m here. There’s no coming back now. A 4 hours trip. Damn it, what am I doing here?* _

* * *

** I slowly opened the door, trying to see what was in there. **

** Kuroo. **

** Kuroo was there! **

** And he started talking right away. **

Someone started open the door and I freaked out imaging who was it.

Daichi.

It was Daichi!

Then I started talking right away.

[Kuroo] “Look Daichi. I know you don’t want to talk with me, but please listen to what I have to say. Just listen, then you can yell at me, send me away,  anything you want but please let me tell you what I came here to tell…”

_***I thought that I didn’t want to see him. I thought that I’d be furious when I saw him again. But none of that happened. I’ve just realized how much I wanted to see him. I won't smile. No. I’m going to do something I've wanted to since the first time I saw you, Kuroo.*** _

He walked in my direction and I tried to say all I had planned before he could, I don't know, punch me.

** I walked in his direction and he started to speed up his voice, nervously.  **

Then he did it.

** Then I did it. **

He shushed me!

** I shushed him! **

* * *

** I put my index finger on his lips, looked into his eyes, and pushed his hair away from his face. **

** And this time, I kissed him. **

** And then, finally, we both kissed each other. **

****

_** *Kuroo was smiling, I should have known that Kuroo was the type who can smile while kissing. Why not?* ** _

_ *I wasn't expecting a kiss like that. I thought only bad guys could kiss like that! Who would ever guess?* _

[Kuroo]  “Hey Captain”

[Daichi] **“What are you doing here?”**

[Kuroo] “I was trying to explain when you shushed me!”

[Daichi] **“Haha. You deserved it.”**

[Kuroo] “Ok ok... I usually do talk too much when I’m nervous.”

[Daichi] **“Oh my god, I forgot Suga!”**

[Kuroo] “Don’t worry, we agreed that he would be leaving after you came here."

[Daichi] **“How did this happen? How long have you** ** been planning this?” **

[Kuroo] “He can tell you later. He’s a good friend, Daichi.”

[Daichi] **“Yes, he is!”**

[Kuroo] “I asked him to not tell anyone about this. Do you think we can trust him?”

[Daichi] **“Of course not ha! I bet you that Asahi knows since the first time you two talked!”**

[Kuroo] “How long until everybody knows?”

[Daichi] **“Don’t worry. They won’t tell anyone! I’m sure of that.”**

I believe it’s important to say that all of our conversations today were not uninterrupted like that... all sentences were intercalated with kisses, hugs, fondling…

[Daichi] **“So, how much time do we have?”**

[Kuroo] “My ticket back is for 8 pm.”

[Daichi] **“8 pm!? What if I had punched you and sent you away!?”**

[Kuroo] “Hahahaha to be honest I thought you would  do that. In that case, maybe I’d have to ask Suga to call Tsukki... he’s a handsome guy...”

[Daichi] **"Now I'll punch you!"**

[Kuroo] “Ouch I’m kidding, I’m kidding... hahaha”

[Daichi] **“Don't tease me, Kuroo..."**

[Kuroo] "Hmpf... But this is one of my favorite sports."

[Daichi] **"Well... I’m glad you were successful!** ** You came all this way and you don’t have to go back immediately.” **

* * *

During the morning we alternate between kisses, hugs, silence, talks, laughs.

Sitting on the floor, with Daichi's back against my chest, we talked about the training camp. I told him that I liked him since the first day.

[Daichi] ** “Don’t lie to me… You’re a flirt, Kuroo.” **

[Kuroo] “I’m not lying! Why, what about you? When did you fell for me?”

[Daichi]  ** “Did I?” **

[Kuroo]  “Ooh I’m fucking good! It’s been less than 3 hours that we’re together and you’re already a tease master!”

[Daichi] **“I can’t argue with that”**

[Kuroo]  “Wait… which part?”

[Daichi] **“Hahaha all of them, Kuroo… You want me to say it? Ok, I…”**

[Hinata] “KAGEYAMAAAAA. I won this time. It doesn’t matter if I lost my shoe at the stairs.”

[Kageyama] “Hinata, you moron. I won.”

[Kuroo] “What the hell these two are doing here?”

[Daichi] **“Sshhhhhhhh”**

He made a signal for me to be quiet and keep low.

[Kageyama] “Where’s the key?”

[Hinata] “You told me you would pick it up with Suga.”

[Kageyama] “No, you told me you would pick it up with Tanaka.”

[Hinata] “Ahhh Kageyama, how can we practice now?”

[Kageyama]  “It’s your fault. I told you to call one of the third years.”

[Hinata] “Should we try to push the door?”

[Kuroo] “Did you lock the door!?”

[Daichi] **“I hope so..."**

We crawled to the door and sat pressing our backs against it. They tried to open it once or twice as we held back our laugh. It was locked.

They kept cursing each other for a while, then they left.

We stayed quiet until we were certain that they were gone.

[Kuroo] “Man, are they always like this?”

[Daichi]  ** “Yeah… every weekend. It was probably my subconscious who made me lock that door…” **

* * *

** At some point in the day, we started to get hungry. **

** We discussed a bit about going out to eat nearby, but the chances of finding Kageyama and Hinata were too high. **

** We decided to call Suga and ask him to bring us food. **

[Kuroo] “I definitely need to buy something for Sugawara-san!”

[Daichi]  ** "Oh yeah. We should think of something!" **

** After we ate lunch, Kuroo laid on my lap and I started to run my fingers through his hair. His eyes were heavy and he could barely keep them open. **

[Kuroo] “I don’t … want to… fall asleep, Daichi…”

[Daichi]  ** "I could sing a lullaby..." **

[Kuroo] "I would pay for that. You would be rich..."

** He was sleeping by the end of the sentence. **

** And I spent the next 30 minutes staring every inch of him without reservations. **

* * *

** He was so quiet that I didn't even notice he woke up. **

[Kuroo] "What are you looking at, captain? I can blush."

[Daichi]  ** "Will you ever stop calling me that?" **

[Kuroo] "Ne-ver!"

[Daichi]  ** "I still don't believe you came." **

[Kuroo]  "About 400km in 4 hours by train, discounting transfers and assuming an average speed, it was a good pace. I could run if the roads were safe, but in this case, it would take, let's see: I can run at 8km/h, considering the long distance, that would take... 50 hours... yeah I could do that..."

[Daichi] **"Wha- what? Do you always wake up like that?"**

[Kuroo] "Forget it. Tell me you're glad I came."

[Daichi]  ** "No... I'm a little bit more than "glad"." **

[Kuroo]  "Hmmm can you be more clear about how much?"

[Daichi]  ** "Don't push me, Kuroo." **

[Kuroo]  "I am glad I came, Daichi. Enough for both of us!"

** He finished this phrase biting my leg. **

* * *

At dusk, a strong storm began to fall. As if the sky was sensing what was to come.

[Daichi] **"I'll take the bus with you to the train station."**

[Kuroo]  "Do you know I was afraid of thunders when I was a kid?"

[Daichi]  ** "I don't want you to go either." **

[Kuroo]  "Perhaps this storm could flood the entire city ..."

[Daichi]  ** "Suga won't be able to bring us food..." **

[Kuroo] "Ok, I'll accept that you'll take me to the train station then."

We spent the whole day on the floor of a small club room.

We went to the train station in silence. I hadn't thought about what it would be like to leave. My imagination hadn't gone that far.

[Daichi] **"I think I'll see you in two weeks."**

[Kuroo] "Don't feel sad, Daichi. You're a tough guy, you will survive without me. I guess..."

[Daichi] **"I'm REALLY glad you came. Have a good trip back."**

[Kuroo] "This is not very measurable, but it is a start. Don't worry, to spend my time, I have the photos I took when you weren't looking."

We kissed one last time.

I'll never get tired of this.

I'm not afraid of what will happen anymore.

I can't be afraid while I'm in his arms.

We spent the whole day on the floor of a small club room.

And it was the best day of my life.

So far.

* * *

** It was almost 9 pm when I got home. **

** As soon as I turned the corner I saw them. Asahi and Suga were sitting on the pavement floor right in front of my house. **

** I did my best to look angry. **

[Daichi]  ** "What are you doing here?" **

[Suga] "Hey... well... Kuroo sent me a message saying he was already on the train back, so..."

** I remained serious! **

[Daichi]  ** "Go home! I don't wanna talk about it now." **

[Suga] "It's everything ok? I'm sorry Daichi, I thought...  ok... we'll leave you then..."

** I put my arms around their shoulders aggressively. **

[Daichi]  ** "You're not going anywhere! Ha, I hope you were not planning to sleep early today! Let's go inside, there's a lot I want to tell you guys!" **

[Suga] "Yay! I'll call my mom saying  I'll be late today"

* * *

It was long past midnight when I got home.

I knew Kenma would be awake so I went straight to his house.

He opened the door and we went to his bedroom, trying not to make any noise.

[Kenma] "How were things with Daichi?"

[Kuroo] "WHAT? How??"

[Kenma] "Suga texted me, he was worried you didn't tell anyone where you were so... he asked me not to tell you, by the way."

[Kuroo] "Hahaha that's fine! I want to scream at the window to the whole world to hear anyways."

[Kenma] "Please don't do that."

[Kuroo] "Ohh Kenma, please, turn off this game and listen to me!"

[Kenma] "Not gonna happen."

[Kuroo] "What about I play with you while I tell you everything."

[Kenma] "...Fine."

[Kuroo] "So, I woke up at 4 am today..."

* * *

[06:00 am: Good morning, Captain]

** [06:02 am: I'd have silenced my phone if I knew you wake up so early] **

[06:02 am: Ohhh you're grumpy in the morning...  😍  how cute]

[06:10 am: Did you go back to sleep?]

** [06:11 am: I just woke up...I had to pee, Kuroo!] **

[06:11 am: Noted! I'll only text you after 10am!😒]

** [06:12 am: Ok, I'm sorry. I liked to wake up with your message] **

[06:12 am: I knew it!]

** [06:13 am: Did you sleep well?] **

[06:13 am: Like an angel! But I was with Kenma until late]

** [06:15 am: Suga told me he texted Kenma yesterday...] **

[06:16 am: Yeah... I didn't check the newspaper yet but maybe it's already there too!]

** [06:17 am: According to him, no one else knows... But Asahi was looking guilty, I believe Nishnoya's is on the list too] **

[06:18 am: It's ok... I no longer want to hide this from anyone]

** [06:19 am: I already miss you] **

[06:19 am: So do I]

** [06:22 am: What are you planning to say when someone asks about us?] **

[06:24 am: I'll say that Captain Daichi Sawamura is the best kisser I've ever met!]

** [06:25 am: No you won't!] **

[06:26 am: Of course I won't! Do you have any idea how many guys dream to be with you?]

** [06:27 am: At least one, I hope so...] **

[06:28 am: Good answer. What about you? What are you planning to say when someone asks about it?]

** [06:29 am: I don't believe anyone will dare ask me about it haha] **

[06:30 am: I don't blame them, you can be scary you know?]

** [06:31 am: Maybe you could help clean my image...] **

[06:32 am: Nope! I'll not promote you!]

** [06:33 am: Haha fair enough... I'm going to eat something. Call me later?] **

[06:34 am: Sure. I'm going back to sleep right now...]

** [06:35 am: Of course you will!] **

[06:36 am: Bye Captain 😘 ]

** [06:37 am: Bye, Kuroo] **

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** We're on the bus, getting close to Tokyo. **

** Kuroo already asked me where are we 12 times in the past 4 hours. **

** In the last 2 weeks, we talked with each other every day. Last Thursday we spent 2 hours talking on the phone, but it's never enough. **

** Every single day I discover something new about him. I hate we live so far. **

** And I think he's right. Our trip is lasting forever this time! **

* * *

Their trip is lasting forever this time!

At least Daichi said they're almost here. "Almost"... he sucks with measures.

I can't wait to see him again. We've been talking with each other every day, more than once sometimes, but it's never enough.

He turned out to be one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. I hate we live so far.

How far is "almost here" for god's sake?

* * *

** When we left the bus, Nekoma wasn't waiting for us as usual. Instead, Takeda Sensei gathered with us for a speech. **

**_ *C'mon, really?* _ **

** Kuroo was talking with Akaashi and Bokuto on the back of the gym when we came. **

_** *Damn, I'm shaking! How will I do that?* ** _

** He looked at me and I tried to understand what he was trying to say. **

* * *

Instead of going outside to welcome Karasuno, as we always did, we stayed inside to hear coach Nekomata's speech.

_ *What?* _

I was talking with Bokuto and Akaashi when I saw him entering the gym.

_ *Hey captain. You and me, outside, now!* _

I did my best to not run and remained cool while he tried to figure out what I wanted.

* * *

[Daichi] **"I'm going to talk with Nekoma's captain."**

[Hinata] "I'll go with you!"

[Suga] "No you're not, Hinata!"

** Suga held Hinata's collar. **

[Kageyama] "Hinata, you moron,  you're the only  one who doesn't know."

[HInata] "Know what?"

** I left them behind as I hold back my laugh. **

* * *

[Kuroo] "I'm going to talk with Karasuno's captain."

[Kuroo]  "I'll go with you!"

[Kuroo]  "No you're not, Bokuto-san!"

Akaashi held Bokuto's arm.

[Kuroo] "We talked about it yesterday, remember?  To give them space"

[Kuroo]  "Them who?"

I left them behind as I hold back my laugh.

* * *

[Kuroo] "Hey Captain"

[Daichi]  ** "You look great." **

[Kuroo]  "Would you mind following me outside for a minute?"

[Daichi] **"Kuroo, we shouldn't."**

[Kuroo] "No captain, we must. Follow me, please."

[Daichi] **"Fine, no more than two minutes, before the warmups"**

[Kuroo] "Five minutes! And you won't need warmups, I promise."

* * *

Later, during the break, we were sitting together on a bench outside talking with Yaku when Bokuto and Akaashi came to join us. Bokuto was making an exaggerated angry face.

[Kuroo] "What's up Bo?"

_ *I know this face. Please don't tease Daichi, Bro.* _

_** *I'm not sure if I like the way Kuroo talk with this guy.* ** _

[Bokuto] "I'm mad with you two! I was the last one to know."

[Kuroo] "Well, officially you weren't the last one. Coach Nekomata doesn't know yet."

[Yaku] "Yes, he does."

[Daichi] **"What!?"**

[Yaku] "I heard coach Ukai and coach Nekomata talking about you two earlier today."

** Kuroo turned around to look at me and I drowned my face in his back. Yaku was laughing hard. Kuroo tapped my hand to call me. **

[Kuroo] "Look who's coming."

** Hinata was coming to us. **

**_ *I can't remember the last time I saw someone looking so uncomfortable.* _ **

_ *Hinata can't even look at us. I shouldn't laugh!* _

[Daichi] **"Hi Hinata, what's up?"**

[Hinata] "hmm... Tanaka... he...  asked me to call you."

[Daichi] **"Thanks, Hinata. I'm going."**

I could see Bokuto's eyes shining. He's so predictable. He hugged Shrimpy solemnly like a tutor.

[Bokuto] "It's ok. Come with me,  young Hinata, I'll explain everything to you..."

[Akaashi] "Thank god! Now he's  going to forget this."

_** *Akaashi seems to be very close to Bokuto. Maybe I shouldn't let him bother me  so much.* ** _

_ *Akaashi's always worried about Bokuto.  I'm not sure if that idiot even noticed that.* _

[Daichi] **"Ok, I think I should go check what they are up to."**

** I kissed Kuroo's cheek and said goodbye to the others when we heard Yaku yell and run. **

[Yaku] "Lev!! Put that down, you idiot. Don't make me go there!"

**_ *Ok, I thought my idiots we're the worst...* _ **

* * *

I was alone with Akaashi.

[Akaashi] "I'm glad you found it, Kuroo-san.  Your "someone to be with"."

He said that as we watched Daichi leave. I realized that I never talked with Akaashi alone. That's unbelievable. I decided to give it a shot.

[Kuroo] "What about you?"

He turned to look at Bokuto at the other side of the patio. I could see a little smile on his face, a sad one.

[Akaashi] "Only children think it's  possible to catch a star."

Then he went back to the gym.

_ *I'm sorry for you two, Akaashi...* _

* * *

[Kuroo] "Good morning, Captain."

** When I opened my eyes, Kuroo was lying beside me, head resting on his hand. In the middle of Karasuno's dorms! Whispering on my ear! **

[Daichi] **"WHO let you in?"**

[Kuroo] "Nobody... everybody... I mean, no one stopped me... There are no locks and officially no rules about visiting other team's rooms, well... at least until today... But I didn't make noise... and most of the guys are sleeping, or pretending to be sleeping because I'm here... they look scared... What do you do to these guys?  Do you like... beat them or something?"

_** *Man, what time is it? How many words can he talk per second when he wakes up?* ** _

[Daichi] **"Get out, Kuroo!"**

[Kuroo] "Hmmm ok, ok... I'll save a spot for you by my side in the cafeteria... don't be late... Can I get a kiss?"

[Daichi] ** "OUT"**

** He kissed the tip of my nose. **

[Kuroo] "I love you too..."

** And we froze! **

_** *Did he just... Did he say... Oh my god, what do I do... did he really say that? Do something Daichi, don't be that kind of a jerk... say something... He's right here in front of you! He just said that he loves you! DO SOMETHING!* ** _

_ *WHAT??? DID I SAY I LOVE YOU? Worst! I said I love you TOO!!! What's wrong with you Kuroo?! A joke! Make a joke! NOW! Quick... think of something! C'mon! Ok, no jokes, smile, pretend that nothing happens, and leave! Go! Now!* _

[Kuroo] "Okay... I'm going before we wake up everybody... I'll wait for you in the cafeteria..."

I got up in a jump and ran away.

_ *Ok, I survived...* _

_** *I have to follow him.* ** _

[Daichi] **"Kuroo, wait!"**

_** *Ok, I'm in my underwear in the middle of the hall. Thank god Kuroo wakes up early!* ** _

_ *Is he in his underwear in the middle of the corridor?* _

[Daichi] **"Come here."**

_ *Ok Kuroo, don't panic, it's just Daichi, in his underwear, in the middle of your school corridor on a Sunday morning calling you... it's ok...* _

[Kuroo] "Captain... I believe I should inform  you that this is not an appropriate  outfit to walk around, you know?"

[Daichi] **"Come. Here."**

_ *Oh my god, I'm his puppet now... Obey Kuroo, Obey!* _

[Daichi] **"I love you too..."**

[Kuroo] "... Man... that's gay!"

[Daichi] **"Go away! Now."**

* * *

** Everything with Kuroo is intense. **

** That's something I've known since the first time I put my eyes on him. **

** It's like he's a flame, burning everything as he passes. **

** We've been together for less than a month. But I'm so burned that I don't feel strange when I realize that I love him. **

** And it's SO good to know he feels the same. **

* * *

Everything with Daichi is tastier.

That's something I've known since the first time I put my eyes on him.

He's like the Maillard reaction, flavoring all that he touches.

We've been together for 362 hours now, and every one of them was delicious because of him. It's not surprising I love him.

And it's SO good to know he feels the same.

* * *

** The practice today was kinda normal. Apparently, Kuroo and I are not "the news" anymore. **

** At least, Hinata and Yamaguchi are no longer blushing or looking away every time someone mentions the word Nekoma (Yachi still is, but Kiyoko's working on that). Tanaka and Noya stopped telling me when and where did they see Kuroo drinking water, laughing, or breathing. **

** I like it. This new normal. The one where Kuroo and Daichi are together. **

* * *

Things were a little bit better today. It looks like everyone is getting used to me and Daichi being together.

Except for Coach  Nekomata who insists on asking my opinion about Karasuno's plays every single time, but besides that, everyone else is more relaxed around us.

Ok, Lev's still not looking at us when we pass. But it's ok, we're good. We're together, and that's it.

I like it. This new normal. The one where Daichi and Kuroo are together.

* * *

** The weekend is over. Once again we're saying goodbye to each other. **

** Kuroo's looking sad. **

[Kuroo] "Next time Karasuno'll come here will be on October 6th. It will be 804 hours without seeing you... "

[Daichi] **"I didn't know you were dating the entire team... But I'm planning to come to see you before that."**

[Kuroo] "Really?"

[Daichi] **"Of course! In one month you could give up on me. I can't take the risk."**

[Kuroo] "Oh, this will never happen, Captain."

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER

** Monday will be the Respect for the Aged Day, and I'm going to spend the long weekend in Nerima, with Kuroo. **

** The idea was to visit him only on Sunday. But he convinced me to spend the entire weekend at his house.  ** ** He told me that his father was happy to welcome his country friend to spend the holiday. **

Daichi's coming to spend the long weekend in Nerima, with me.

He told me he would come on Sunday and go back on the same day. But I decided to talk with my dad about receiving a friend from Miyagi on the holiday and he got really excited about it. So I asked Daichi, and surprisingly he accepted!

_** *I can't believe I'm doing this.* ** _

_ *I can't believe he's coming.* _

** It's Saturday morning, September 15, and Kuroo is waiting for me on the platform. **

It's Saturday morning, September 15, and Daichi is coming to Nerima to spend the weekend with me.

[Kuroo] "Hey Captain. How was the trip?"

[Daichi] **"Better than I expected, I have to admit."**

[Kuroo]  "I told you! It's not that bad. We could do this every day."

[Daichi] **"Don't exaggerate. Hehe. So, where to now?"**

[Kuroo] "Oh I have a full schedule programmed for the entire weekend. Didn't you receive the email?"

[Daichi] **"You're kidding, right?"**

[Kuroo] " Of course I'm kidding! I've never imagined you would accept this. I have no idea what to do with you now! Let's start by going home so you can leave your bag. Then I should show you the Sky Tree, the real one, just to avoid further misunderstandings you know..."

[Daichi] **"You know I still can go back, right?"**

[Kuroo] "Okay, okay. No Sky Tree, but if you continue to deny my ideas we're going to spend the whole weekend playing videogames with Kenma."

[Daichi] **"Hmm... I'm not the gamer type, you know."**

[Kuroo] "No one is perfect... but it's ok... I can live with this disappointment."

* * *

[Kuroo's dad] "So you're Tetsurou's friend from Miyagi,  Taichi-san, isn't it?"

[Kuroo] "It's Daichi, dad. He's the captain of Karasuno High School volleyball team."

[Daichi] **"Nice to meet you, Mr. Kuroo.** ** Thank you for having me for the weekend." **

[Kuroo's dad] "Oh that's nice. So you're like the Captain's Club. It's nice to meet you, Caichi-san. I'm sorry I have to  work at home the entire weekend but I'm sure you guys won't need me in your way. Please make yourself at home. Tetsurou, show Saichi-san your room so he can refresh after the trip."

[Daichi] **"Thanks again, Mr. Kuroo."**

[Kuroo] "Come, Daichi."

* * *

** We spent the whole morning in his bedroom. He showed me his books and tried to create an excellent excuse to have a huge illustrated periodic table on his wall. **

[Daichi] **"So basically you fooled me. I thought I was dating a Jock but I'm actually dating a Nerd."**

[Kuroo] "No, I am a jock, but I am a fucking genius jock. That's all."

[Daichi] **"Okay... I can live with that."**

* * *

** Before lunch, we set up a bed for me beside Kuroo's. Not right beside it. They were like, 30 cm apart from each other. And that's good. I can think more about that part later. **

* * *

** The day is almost over and we barely left the room all day. **

** I feel like now he's officially my boyfriend. I traveled 4 hours to spend the day in his company, I didn't come to visit Tokyo. **

** Every step we took so far was so easeful. Now I'm here, at Kuroo's bedroom, among all his things, and it isn't weird or awkward. It's easy and right. There's space for me here, in Tetsurou Kuroo's life. What else could I want? **

* * *

The day is almost over and we barely left the room all day. 

I'm officially the worst boyfriend ever. Daichi came over for the weekend and I literally didn't plan anything special to do with him.

But I have to admit. For me, nothing could be more special than watching Daichi among my things in my room. Every little thing in this room is part of my life, it is familiar to me. And now Daichi Sawamura is one of them. What else could I want?

* * *

After dinner, gramps insisted that we play ban-sugoroku with him. Daichi won the first match and gramps was impressed, and a little bit angry. "Best of 5" he said. And I saw Daichi losing the next 3 matches in a row. He was letting gramps win. But he's so good that gramps didn't notice. How does he do that?!

[Kuroo's grandfather] "You're good Sawamura-san. But you'll have to  come back often if you want to beat me  in ban-sugoroku. Tetsurou can tell you."

[Daichi] ** "I can see I've met an excellent opponent, Kuroo-san. I'm looking forward to revenge."**

[Kuroo's grandfather]  "Ohh you'll have to wait until next time. I'm not young like you anymore. It's past time to go to sleep."

[Daichi] ** "I promise I'll come back."**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "He's good, Tetsurou. He's good."

* * *

** It was way past 1 in the morning when we finally went to bed. **

[Kuroo] "What about that lullaby?"

[Daichi] **"It's your turn now."**

[Kuroo] "No, I'm a terrible singer..."

[Daichi] **"I doubt it."**

[Kuroo] **"Good night, Captain."**

[Daichi]  "Good night, Kuroo."

* * *

** In the middle of the night, I woke up with Kuroo sliding under my duvet and rubbing his face and body against mine like a real cat until he found a comfortable position in my arms. **

** I wasn't sure if he was fully awake so I slowly moved to make room for him. **

[Kuroo] "Don't send me away..."

[Daichi] **"I won't"**

* * *

[Daichi] **"So, this is the place?"**

[Kuroo] "Captain, let me introduce you to the “Fureai no Kei” or “Interaction Path”, a 400-meter long path lined up with 56 130 years-old ginkgo trees."

[Daichi] **"It's really nice."**

[Kuroo] "So, let me tell you why I call it "Tetsurou's Gift Path". My dad brought me here for the first time on my birthday, right after we moved here. It looks like a normal park street now, but in November this place is amazing! I will bring you here again on my birthday. I never told anyone that, but I was a very shy and introverted child. I don't think even Kenma remembers that."

[Daichi] **"You? Shy?"**

[Kuroo] "Shhsh I'm opening my heart here! The first time I saw this place I was amazed! It is a truly majestic sight for an 8-year-old boy. And I realized these trees change all year round, but there is a season when they shine, just for a short period. On my birthday.

I started to read more about these trees. Did you know that 4 ginkgo trees survived the blast at Hiroshima and are still growing today? These trees are not only one of the oldest living species on Earth, but also one of the most resilient! 

So I thought that if a tree could do that, why not me?

When I told my dad that I liked to think these trees sparkled because of my birthday he said: " _Vanity contradicts the impermanence, Tetsurou. We must overcome vanity in order to grow."_

I felt so angry that day. What if I use vanity as my shield, a golden shield made by these leaves?

Then Kenma told me that rogues are not allowed to use shields. That was the last straw! I decided that I would be a rogue with a shield! And after that, I never let anyone tell me that I can't do anything."

[Daichi]  ** "Can I ask you something?" **

[Kuroo] "Sure."

[Daichi] **"What is a rogue?"**

[Kuroo] "Ok Captain, we're going to Kenma's place. It's time to fix that."

* * *

** We were back at Kuroo's house before 8 pm. Kenma was not in the mood to teach me RPG roles today. **

[Kuroos' grandfather] "Oh you're back. What do you say?  Another match, Sawamura-san?"

** And I played 5 matches with Kuroo's grandfather before we went to sleep. I won only 2 this time. **

* * *

[Kuroo] "You're letting him win!"

[Daichi] **"Of course not..."**

[Kuroo] "Daichi... My grandpa is the best player I've known! But, somehow, you're better than he!"

[Daichi] **"Well... as long as I keep losing, I have an excuse to come back..."**

* * *

** We're lying on my bed on the floor. Kuroo is taller then me, but when we're lying together, he fits in my arms as if he was smaller. **

[Daichi] **"So... I'm not dating a Jock or a Nerd, but ...a Rogue, with a shield?"**

[Kuroo] "Apparently... and what about me? Who am I dating?"

[Dachi] " **A Captain! Of course."**

[Kuroo] "Hmpf... tell me about the young Daichi!"

[Dachi] **"There's no much to tell... I was just a normal boring kid..."**

[Kuroo] "I'm glad I met the older you then... Ouch! You promised not to hit me anymore!"

[Dachi] **"I'm not kidding... the only remarkable thing about my childhood was the fact that I always wanted to have a dog... but I still want to, so not even this is a particular thing about the young Daichi..."**

[Kuroo] "It had to be a dog, right?"

[Dachi] **"Always dogs, never cats... sorry..."**

[Kuroo] "I rather dog too... But I made a promise to Yaku to never mention it so they would allow me to be Nekoma's captain."

[Dachi] **"You're kidding?"**

[Kuroo]  "Nope... Actually, I shouldn't have told you... maybe I'll have to kill you because of that..."

[Dachi] **"Oh shit... what about a deal? I keep your secret safe until we graduate. Then, you'll no longer be at Nekoma anymore and I can adopt a puppy for us!"**

[Kuroo]  "Are you proposing to me, Captain?"

[Dachi]  ** "Isn't it time for you to go back to YOUR bed, Tetsurou-san?" **

[Kuroo]  "Awnn... let me stay? My bed must be cold..."

[Dachi] **"Ok... You'll wake up here tomorrow, one way or another."**

[Kuroo] "Are you already sleeping?"

[Dachi] **"Yes, good night, Kuroo!"**

[Kuroo] "hmmm... Night, captain"

* * *

** My train's leaving at 4 pm today and I feel like the long weekend was too short. I don't wanna go. **

** The day we have to say goodbye is never a good day. **

** In addition, today we decided to talk about Interhigh, Nationals, volleyball, graduation, being captains... **

** Kuroo is worried. He doesn't want me to notice, but he is. I think he never lost 3 days in a row without practicing since the first year! In fact... neither did I. **

It was officially the best weekend I've ever had.  But now he's going to leave again.

The day to say goodbye is always the worst.

To make things worst, we started to talk about the Nationals, and our teams, and last chances...

Daichi is visibly worried. I wonder if he thinks he should be training, instead of being here. And I understand him... I would never have thought that I could spend 3 whole days without playing volleyball.

* * *

** I believe that's why we don't talk about volleyball so much. **

** It's like I felt guilty, for having something outside the court, apart from our teams. **

** I don't know if Kuroo feels like this too. But I won't ask. I don't wanna know the answer. **

** For now, I will kiss him as much as I can before my train leaves. While I am here, and he's here too. **

I feel guilty sometimes. No, not guilty, maybe... I don't know.

I don't like to talk about volleyball with him. Just that. Maybe I'm afraid about how he feels. But I'll never ask. I don't want to know the answer.

So I'll kiss him and hold him like I'll never have to let him go. Because that's what I want. Hold him like this forever.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** Once again, we're going to Tokyo for a training camp. **

** Yes, it'll be the last time, I know. Asahi, Takeda Sensei, Suga, Tanaka, and Kageyama already told me that, in that order. **

** It's funny. It's like Karasuno and Nekoma are dating. Not only Kuroo and I. **

** Everyone looks way grumpier than we are. **

* * *

Daichi is coming. This is going to be the last training camp before the Interhigh and Nationals.

I'm not exaggerating, 8 people already mentioned this will be the last time we'll see Karasuno before the games. Including coach Nekomata, Naoi, and Kenma!

I mean, easy guys. Daichi and I are dating, not all of you. Geez.

* * *

[Kuroo] "Hey, Captain."

[Daichi]  ** "Hey! It's so good to see you. The trip today was like a funeral. Everyone is so blue today. I miss your laugh so bad." **

[Kuroo]  "Really? I thought that mines were the only ones like that! It's about the training camp, right? They're almost making me feel bad because I have you and they don't."

[Daichi] **"Same thing on my side. I feel like they're saying: "** ** It's not fair, you're going to see each other soon again and we won't "... I'm jealous, you know?" **

[Kuroo]  "Ohhh how sweet... that's new!!"

[Daichi] **"No! Kuroo! Not new! Not sweet! And stop talking and give me a kiss!"**

[Kuroo] "Yes, captain!"

* * *

** So far we lost all sets against Nekoma! I'm impressed that Kuroo, the lord of teasing,  also known as my boyfriend, keeps acting like a nice guy and doesn't mention that all day long. **

** At the end of the day, both teams decided to catch up to chill down. But the moods were tense, you know. They were waiting for us to fix that. Kuroo told me he had a plan. I don't know what he's making up. **

* * *

Karasuno somehow lost all sets to us. And I'm amazed at the way Daichi deals with that! It's a mix of pride, tenacity, hope, and endurance. It's definitely him, the captain I was looking for.

After practice today, we were all sitting together chatting, Karasuno, and Nekoma. It was like everyone was expecting me and Daichi to say something. I told Daichi that I had a plan to cheer up the teams.

_** *It's your turn. They're all yours!* ** _

_ *Ok ok, I'll talk with them. Cover me, right?* _

[Kuroo] "Soo... I was talking with Daichi..."

**_ *What??* _ **

_ *Cover me!* _

[Kuroo] "And... well... we know that both Karasuno and Nekoma are going to the Nationals, right..."

**_ *What are you doing!? Don't talk about that! Do you call this a speech?* _ **

_ *Don't look at me like that. I know what I'm doing!!* _

[Kuroo] "But... before that, there's another event that both  teams must attend..."

_** *Oh my god...* ** _

_ *Wait for it!* _

[Kuroo] "My birthday, November 17th, at my house. I'm going to be 18 and I would love to party with my volleyball friends. We were thinking about having a karaoke contest. Who knows... maybe this way Karasuno can beat us in something."

** It worked! He cheered everyone up! All guys are talking at the same time, excited, surrounding him with questions and suggestions. And he's smiling, triumphant to me. **

Success! No more blue faces for today. Everybody is excited now. Even, Daichi who was looking worried seems relaxed now. I should have told him before, but it's ok.

_** *Yeah... you're good.  You're really good.* ** _

_ *Don't look me like that... You know I can blush...* _

* * *

** It's Sunday. The practice matches against The Fukurodani Academy Group teams are over. **

** The effect caused by the announcement of Kuroo's birthday is vanishing. **

** We're standing together watching our players talking about "the end". Hinata and Kenma here. Tanaka and Yamamoto there. **

** And Kuroo resumed everything. **

[Kuroo] "This is our last chance for  the Dumpster Showdown.  I'll see you at Tokyo Gymnasium."

[Daichi] **"Yeah"**

* * *

** Later, after a shower, Asahi was looking more depressed than usual. **

[Daichi] **"What's with that face, Asahi?"**

[Asahi] "Tsc... It's ending, right? I mean... the interhighs are this month, then, the nationals, then... Oh! How stupid I am! I'm sorry Daichi, I shouldn't be talking about it with you... I... it's was a stupid comment..."

[Daichi] **"That's ok, Asahi. I was just talking with Kuroo about it. Now we're only going to see them on Nationals!"**

[Asahi] "What? Oh Daichi, I had no idea... Did you guys break up? I'm sorry..."

[Daichi] **"What? No! We were talking about playing against each other. We didn't break up."**

[Asahi] "Oh thank God, I thought he had broken up with you because  " _Now we have to focus on our teams_ " or things like that!"

[Daichi] **"No! Do you think that's what he was saying?"**

[Asahi] "No! I mean, I don't know... You captains are weird sometimes... Is that what he said? I don't know... Forget it Daichi... I was just worried. I like you guys. I mean, together. I would be sad... you know... for you... I mean... Forget what I said ok? You're going to be fine"

[Daichi] **"It's ok, man"**

**_ *Will Kuroo break up with me? Is that what he meant?* _ **

* * *

Yaku was talking with Lev about Karasuno. They stopped when they saw me.

[Kuroo] "What? What's wrong?"

[Yaku] "Sorry Kuroo, we were talking about... you know... Now we'll only see Karasuno's team on the Spring Nationals. If both teams get there... The end's near, you know... I'm just grumpy... Forget it..."

[Kuroo] "It's ok, Yaku. I've just said exactly the same to Daichi, Now, we'll see them only on Nationals."

[Yaku] "What? I'm sorry man. I'd never mention that if I knew you break up."

[Kuroo] "What? No! We didn't break up! Why are you saying that? I was talking about the game."

[Yaku] "Oh, ok. Sorry. It sounded like he had broken up with you, you know... Like you're now planning to dedicate fully to volleyball, stuff like that."

[Kuroo] "No! Do you think that's what he was saying?"

[Yaku] "I don't know... Did you tell him that you're going to see each other on Nationals and he agreed? Man... I think you should talk, just to see if you're on the same page. I'm not saying you're not, but... You should talk. You're my friend Kuroo. And I like you two. I'm just saying."

[Kuroo] "It's ok, man."

_ *Daichi is going to break up with me? Is that what he meant?* _

* * *

** We're going home tomorrow morning. Officially we won't come back to Tokyo anymore. Only for Kuroo's birthday... I guess. **

** I'm going to meet Kuroo in the garden behind the school. He was weird on the phone. **

** I know he's sad. But we'll overcome this. We'll find a way. The Spring Nationals are 3 months ahead. We'll see each other before that. We need to. **

* * *

I asked Daichi to meet me at the garden tonight.

I don't know what he's planning, but I need to be alone with him to be able to deal with this. Whatever happens.

Is it possible that he's going to break up with me? I think I know the answer. And it hurts so much. He never agrees with me, why did he agree with me this time?

* * *

_** *There he is. He looks so sorrowful. What's going on, Kuroo?* ** _

_ *There he comes. He looks worried. Oh god.* _

[Kuroo] "Hey, Daichi."

**_ *Daichi? What happened with "captain"?* _ **

_ *Why are you looking so nervous?* _

[Daichi] **"You look sad..."**

[Kuroo] "Yeah, I am sad...  ...and I think  you know why."

_** *Of course I know why. What can I say? It'll be hard to be away from each other.* ** _

_ *Please, say you don't know! Say I'm wrong. Say everything's fine.* _

[Daichi] **"Yes, I think I know."**

_** *There's more, right? What are you trying to tell me?* ** _

_ *No, please. I can't take this blow. I can't take you broking up with me."* _

[Daichi] **"Kuroo, I need to talk with you..."**

[Kuroo] "No Daichi, please. I have to do this. Please let me do this."

**_ *Do what?  You're not gonna even let me talk? Please let me try...* _ **

_ *Let me say it! I can't hear you saying this. Please, at least let me do this.* _

[Kuroo] "We both know what is coming... this is our last chance to go to the Nationals, the next months are going to be tough..."

_***Oh my God, is he breaking up with me? Is that what you really want, Kuroo?*** _

_ *I don't know if I can do it... Is that what you really want, Daichi?* _

[Daichi] **"You're saying it's better** ** for us to focus on  our teams now..." **

**_ *Please, Kuroo, say you don't. Please say you don't!* _ **

_ *Of course not, but if this is what you want, what do you expect me to do?* _

[Kuroo] "I think we both agreed  with that..."

**_ *I can't believe this is happening. Were you planning this since the beginning? Were we just a summer affair? With a pre-determined deadline? I can't believe you feel like that. Why is this happening? Why is this happening to us? I mean, it's us. Daichi and Kuroo. Isn't it? We've just started. There are still so many things... Why do you keep looking down? Can't you even look at me anymore? When did all of this happen?* _ **

_ *I can't believe this is happening. Why did you kiss me in that club room in the first place? I was ready to hear that you didn't want me on that day. Not now. Not after all this. I can't believe you feel like that. Do you? What about everything I planned? We planned! It's not enough. How am I suppose to wake up tomorrow in a world where we're no longer together? How long have you known? Why didn't I notice?* _

[Daichi] **"So... I think this is it...** ** I should go back to the dorm...  We're going to leave early tomorrow..." **

[Kuroo] "Sure... I"m going right after you..."

[Daichi] **"See you, Kuroo."**

[Kuroo] "See you, Daichi."

* * *

** And that was how I lost Tetsurou Kuroo. **

* * *

And that was how I lost Daichi Sawamura.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS ALERT!   
> Seasons 3 and 4!
> 
> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** The first thing I felt was angry. **

** I spent one or two days feeling like that. Pissed off. **

** How could I be so stupid? How did I not notice? It was Kuroo. I saw that from the first day. The tease master. He was having fun while I was falling in love. I never felt so naive in my entire life. **

** It was brief... and apparently just an affair... but I truly loved him. **

** That thought helped me to leave the anger behind, and then I was devastated. **

** For days I felt like a huge rock was on my chest. Where did it go wrong? When did I push him away? I can't understand why he was doing these things to me. **

**But the days continued. Nothing stopped to wait for me. And I had to move on.**

** No, I will not say that I'm training harder and canalizing my pain into training. Not this time.  **

** I'm glad that I have volleyball and the other guys to fill my day. And that's all. **

* * *

106 hours. For 106 hours I thought that I was dead... or about to die... it was the same.

It hurt so much that sometimes I thought I couldn't breathe, or get out of bed. Why did this happen? I was so happy with him. Where did it go wrong?

It was like the pain was inversely proportional to happiness. The emptiness was inversely proportional to love.

That thought helped me to leave the sadness behind, and then I was furious.

I started to blame me for being so stupid. I shouldn't have gone to Karasuno's club room that day. It was always me, pushing him, asking him, loving him. Why did I not notice? How dumb I could be?

But the stupid sun insisted on raising every day. Against my will, to complete this stupid life.

In the end, I've just kept waking up, studying, practicing, eating, sleeping... without him, as I always did.

* * *

** I came earlier to the club room today and Hinata was sitting at the door waiting. **

[Daichi] **"Hey Hinata.** ** What's up?" **

** He almost dropped the phone when he heard me. **

[Hinata] "Hi! Hey Daichi! I'm not chatting with... no one... I was just checking... nothing really."

[Daichi] **"Hmmm... ok... what are you up to, Hinata?"**

_** *He's shaking!* ** _

[Hinata] "I'm sorry, Daichi-san. I was talking with Kuroo-san... Tomorrow is Kenma's birthday and..."

_** *Ohh great!* ** _

[Hinata] "I can't go to Nerima in the middle of the week but I would like to make a surprise for him, and well... Kuroo is his best friend so I..."

_** *Ask him! Ask if he asked about you! Ask him!* ** _

[Daichi] **"Hinata! I don't care. You're blocking the passage. Move."**

[Hinata] "Oh sorry, Daichi-san."

* * *

Hinata is texting me since earlier today about Kenma's birthday.

[Kuroo ] "So, are you planning something for tomorrow?"

_ *How am I going to fool Kenma? I'm not in the mood for that, Hinata.* _

[Kenam] "I told you, nothing! Who are you talking to this much this morning?"

[Kuroo] "Hmmm... no one. I'm just checking things..."

_ *Damit!* _

[Kenam] "You're looking suspicious.  What are you doing? Are you texting Daichi? "

_ *Ohh great!* _

[Kenam] "Kuro, for god's sake, you're a grown man, I don't care if you call him or not. Just make up your mind and fix it at once, you don't have to lie ..."

_ *Oh God...  Hinata I'll kill you* _

[Kuroo] "Ok! You're right... I'm going to solve this, I promise."

[Kenma] "Good!"

* * *

** Thanks to Hinata I spent the last two days thinking about texting Kuroo. **

** Ok then. **

** Apparently, I'm not over him yet.  ** ** But what am I supposed to do? **

** Damn. I'm losing my mind.  ** ** I have to do something about it. **

** I won't text him! **

* * *

Thanks to Hinata I spent the last two days thinking about texting Daichi.

Ok, I know.

Everybody knows that I want to text him.  But what am I supposed to do?

Damn. I'm losing my mind.  I have to do something about it.

I will text him!

* * *

** I should have texted him... **

** The interhigh is this weekend. **

** It's our last chance to go to the Nationals. We'll probably have to beat Seijoh and Shiratorizawa to do that. **

** I'm really nervous but also so excited. **

** It's their last chance too. What if they fail? What if we fail? **

** I wish I could talk with Kuroo about it. **

** I wonder if he would talk with me...  **

** I won't text him. **

* * *

I didn't text him...

The interhigh is this weekend.

This is going to be our last chance to go to the Nationals. I want it so bad. I paid so high for this chance.

I'm really nervous but also so excited.

It's their last chance too. What if they fail? What if we fail?

It's not fair that I can't talk with him.

I wonder if he would talk with me... 

I will text him.

* * *

[Suga] "Just text him. Tell him you wanna talk about the qualifiers. It's a good excuse."

[Daichi] **"It's not an excuse, Suga. That's the real reason."**

[Suga] "Ok ok... good, see. C'mon! Just text him."

[Daichi] **"Suga... but... what if...** ** I won't do that!  He broke up with me, Suga. He said that we should focus on our teams. I believe that receiving a message from me a few days before the qualifiers is exactly what he doesn't want." **

[Suga] "Ok. Listen to me!  In a few days, we're going to face some really tough games. I wouldn't say that but... it's our last chance to go to the Nationals, Daichi. And this time we can really do it! But we can't do this without you. I've been seeing you for the past days. You've been amazing, keeping the team together despite everything you're going through. But I don't know how long you are going to handle this. And I can't risk losing you now.  Text him, and fix that! I bet Nekoma needs their captain as much we need ours."

[Daichi] **"Suga..."**

[Suga] "And if he acts like a jerk,  even better!  You'll be thankful  for not having that trash  in your life anymore  and you'll move on!"

[Daichi] **"Wow... and they say I'm the scary one!"**

[Suga] "I'm going home... text him!  And call me if you need to..."

[Daichi] **"Suga..."**

[Suga] "What?!"

[Daichi] **"Thank you."**

* * *

[Yaku] "You cannot text him, Kuroo. What are you going to say?  Hey babe, I miss you ?"

[Kuroo] "Of course not, Yaku! I could talk about the Interhigh."

[Yaku] "Kuroo... do you really think this is a good idea?"

[Kuroo] "No! Actually, I think this is a stupid idea. But I wish we could talk again, you know? I'm not talking about coming back together. Just talk. I can't stop thinking about the Nationals, and everything. And I know he's feeling the same. I wanna talk with him."

[Yaku] "Ok. Listen! I'm really sorry about what happened. In fact, everybody feels like that. You made a perfect pair..."

[Kuroo] "Are you trying to help me?" 

[Yaku] "Yes, I am. I don't know what's going to happen between you two. But the truth is, you both need to focus on your teams. You came so far, you wanted this so bad, you gave up so much. I wish you guys could be together. But since it's over, you should move on, and take this opportunity to get to the Nationals. It's something we've wanted for so long."

[Kuroo] "I know. You're right, I guess..."

[Yaku] "I know... once again,  I'm sorry, Kuroo."

[Kuroo] "I just wanted him to text me..."

As soon as I finished the sentence, my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen. It was Daichi! Astonished, I showed it to Yaku.

[Yaku] "You're fucking kidding me! Please remember to ask the gods that we win this weekend! I'll leave you now... call me if you need ok? You lucky bastard."

* * *

** [09:21 pm: Hey Kuroo. How are you? I'm sorry I'm texting you. I know you said we should stop you know, everything. I just wanted to know how things are going for the Interhigh this weekend. Here, everyone is fine, freaking out as expected, but we couldn't be more prepared, you know. It's time! Maybe this is the scariest part. Anyway, I just thought that it would be nice to know how things are going for Nekoma. I hope you guys are fine.] **

_** *He's not your boyfriend anymore, Daichi. He's not going to answer you in less than a minute as he used to.* ** _

_ *You're not his boyfriend anymore, Kuroo. Breathe, and wait a few seconds before answering.* _

[09:25 pm: Hey Daichi. It's ok! We're not supposed to ignore each other forever, right? Especially when you need some advice from someone older and cooler in situations like that. I'm sorry to hear about your players. My guys are super cool. I didn't even remember that Interhigh was this weekend, you know... #SaidNoOneEver]

_** *Jokes. Of course he would make jokes. He uses jokes to break the ice. Did he think I was nervous in my message? Shit! The guy broke up with you. Less than 2 weeks later you text him. What are you expecting Daichi? At least I could hide behind his jokes, right? Oh I wanna die!* ** _

_ *Please don't be mad... It's just a joke, you know I joke when I'm nervous. Oh my god, he's going to notice that I'm nervous. Shit. Why are you always joking Kuroo... what is wrong with you? Think before text, you idiot. C'mon Daichi, answer me. I'm an idiot, fix things for me...* _

** [09:27 pm: Ok Captain, what should I tell my players then?] **

_** *Oh god, I called him Captain... I'm so stupid!* ** _

_ *Captain?  That was cruel, Daichi...* _

[09:28 pm: I'm glad you' asked! Are you taking notes?]

** [09:29 pm: No, I have a good memory, don't worry!] **

_** *What!?! Where's Suga to take off my phone from me!?* ** _

_ *Ouch. He's sharp today. I'm done with jokes, let's talk Daichi...* _

[09:30 pm: Hehe ok, that's enough. I'm terrified, Daichi. This is our last chance. I really think we can do it but that just increases the pressure, you know?]

** [09:31 pm: Yes! That's exactly how I feel. I'm so confident that I'm nervous. That's ridiculous.] **

[09:31 pm: And the question is how to pass this confidence to the team without increasing the pressure on them.]

** [09:32 pm: I think I'll never be able to find this balance with them. And besides that, there's also the fear of being wrong. What if we're not ready? What if we fail?] **

[09:33 pm: No! Don't even start! Your matches are going to be in Sendai?]

** [09:33 pm: Yes, what about yours?] **

* * *

** We talked for hours. **

** We'd never talked about volleyball for so long. We talked about our possible opponents, our new plays, receives. **

** Maybe he was right after all. **

** We had to break up to be able to do that. I hate this. But I'm glad I texted him. **

** Anyway. We're going to win this weekend. And we're going to face Nekoma one last time in Tokyo in January! **

** Wait for me Kuroo. **

* * *

We talked for hours.

I'm feeling so good now that we've talked. We never talked that much about volleyball. And it's so good to have someone to do that.

Maybe he was right after all.

Maybe we're better this way. Maybe we should be just friends. I hate this.

Anyway. We're going to win this weekend. And we're going to face Karasuno one last time in January!

Wait for me Daichi.

* * *

** It's been two weeks since we qualified for the Nationals! **

** I'm not sure I can express what does that means. Especially for Asahi, Suga, and I. Yeah, I just can't explain. **

** We did it! At our very last chance! We've been seeking this for 3 years. And we're so fucking happy right now! **

** Yes, Nekoma passed too. **

** Everything is all right. **

* * *

It's been two weeks since we qualified for the Nationals!

The feeling is amazing. We deserve that! We were so close so many times, and now we finally made it!

I'm sure that everybody is feeling the same, but for Yaku, Kai, and I... It was our last chance! And we did it!

Yes, Karasuno passed too.

Everything is all right.

* * *

** One month ago, I would've never thought that things would be this fine so soon. **

** Especially after we broke up. **

** But everything is all right. **

** And I'm feeling good... **

** Most of the time. **

* * *

One month ago, I would've never thought that things would be this fine so soon.

Especially after we broke up.

But everything is all right.

And most of the time...

I'm feeling good.

* * *

** As soon as I entered the gym today I knew something was wrong. **

** Nishinoya, Asahi, Suga, Tanaka, and Hinata were all sitting in a circle at the back of the court, talking silently and worried. **

** Tanaka was the first to see me and made a sign for everyone to be quiet. **

[Daichi] **"What is it now?"**

** They stared at each other like they were deciding who should talk. **

_** *This can't be good...* ** _

[Daichi] **"Suga?"**

[Suga] "Err... Hey Daichi. Good morning."

[Daichi] **"Yeah, good morning. What is happening?"**

[Hinata] "Ok I'll talk with him!"

_** *Holy shit, this will be worst than I thought!* ** _

[Hinata] "So, Daichi-san... we were talking about you and Kuroo. You want to get back together, right?"

_** *"WHAT!?"* ** _

* * *

As soon as I came to class today I knew something was wrong.

Yamamoto, Lev, and Inuoka were all talking with Yaku in front of our classroom. It looked like they were fighting or something.

Yaku looked scared when he saw me and quickly made a sign for everyone to be quiet.

[Kuroo] "What happened?"

Yamamoto looked at the floor, while the others glanced at the window, ignoring me.

_ *This can't be good...* _

[Kuroo] "Yaku?"

[Yaku] "Hey... Good morning, Kuroo!"

[Kuroo] "No good mornings!  What are you doing?"

[Lev] "Ok let me talk with him!"

_ What? What is happening here? _

[Lev] "So, Kuroo-san...  we were wondering...  You want Daichi to  come back, right?"

_ *"WHAT!?"* _

* * *

[Tanaka] "NO! It's not that, shut up Hinata! Calm down Daichi, that's no it! Look, we just want to know if you and Kuroo are... good... again... you know?"

_** *Is this a nightmare, right? I'm still in my bed dreaming... that's it...* ** _

[Suga] "Shut up, Tanaka! This is not the best way..."

[Tanaka] "But we have to ask him, we agreed that everyone wants that..."

Daichi] **"Ok. Everybody shut up. I think we should talk!"**

* * *

[Yamamoto] "No! We were not talking about that. We don't care if you're together or not, I mean, we want to know how are you guys? Are you... good?"

_ *Did I do something? Is Daichi here? Can someone explain what is happening??* _

[Yaku] "Shut up Yamamoto! Just ask him what we want to know!"

[Yamamoto] "That was what I did! I don't know how to talk with Kuroo. Try it if you know better!"

[Kuroo] "Ok. Everybody shut up. I think we should talk!"

* * *

** I sat with them on the court's floor. **

[Daichi] ** "Listen. A lot of things happened in the last few months. And I'm sorry if I didn't talk with you about it before. You all know that Kuroo and I were no longer together. And I understand that maybe you can think that this affects you too, but that's not true, ok?  ** ** I didn't realize how much this was important to you. I'm not mad. We're friends now. And nothing that happened will affect my leadership in front of Karasuno's team. Ok?  ** ** Are we good?" **

* * *

I took a deep breath and tried to put the words together.

[Kuroo] "Listen. It's my fault, I guess. I'm sorry I didn't talk with you guys before. I had no idea it was so important to you. Yes, you all know that Daichi and I are no longer together. And I was really bad because of that for some time, but I'm good now, ok? You don't have to worry. We're friends now. I tried to not let any of this affect our team.  If I knew you were so worried about it I would've talked with you guys sooner.  I'm sorry. ok?  Are we good?"

* * *

[Hinata] "So... does that mean  that we can go to  Kuroo's birthday party!?"

[Daichi] **"Wha-what?"**

[Tanaka] "Yeah... we were worried  that we couldn't go to his birthday anymore."

[Daichi] **"Oh... that... well... sure! We're all going... sure..."**

_** *Oh my god, that was terrible!! I want to disappear!* ** _

* * *

[Lev] "So... does that mean that the Karasuno's guys are  coming to your birthday?!?"

[Kuroo] "Wha-what?"

[Yamamoto] "Yeah... we were worried  that they would not  come anymore."

[Kuroo] "Oh... that... well... sure! They're all coming... sure..."

_ I'm so stupid. How long will I be acting like this!? _

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

** It's Saturday, November 16th. And half of Karasuno's team is going to Tokyo. **

** Asahi, Suga, and I are going to stay at Kuroo's house. Noya and Tanaka will be with Yamamoto, and Kageyama and Hinata are going to be at Kenma's place, poor Kenma. **

** The guys were waiting for us at the station. Everybody is so excited! It was a really good idea. We all deserve a party at this point. So I promised myself that I wouldn't regret coming and I will enjoy the weekend! It's an order! **

** But this is going to be hard. How am I supposed to forget the last time I was here? I wasn't in my right mind when I agreed to come. **

_** *No! I won't regret coming! Hold on, Daichi!* ** _

** We took the same bus that Hinata and Kageyama since Kenma and Kuroo are neighbors, while Noya and Tanaka went with Yamamoto to his house. **

** Overall, everybody is less uncomfortable than I thought they would be. Hinata and Asahi are super excited, talking about the party with Kuroo. Kageyama and Kenma are trying to ignore each other existence and Suga won't stop looking at me with a worried face. **

_** *Stop that!* ** _

** Kuroo's grandfather was at the door when we arrived. **

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Sawamura-san! You came! I'm glad I could see you before we left! We're going to spend the weekend at my sister-in-law's house. You take care of these guys, ok? Are you going to be here tomorrow? Maybe we'll have time for a little ban-sugoroku match, ha?"

[Daichi] **"Kuroo-san, I'm glad to see you too. I was counting on your help to keep things in order. Are you sure you don't wanna stay?"**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Shhh, I would like to stay,  but I was threatened you know?"

[Kuroo's father]  "Ok dad, it's time to go. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself properly guys. I'm Tetsurou's dad. Please make yourself at home. Daichi already knows the house.  You're going to be fine! Enjoy the party.  And Daichi, please don't let them set the house on fire."

[Daichi] **"I'll do my best!"**

** I could see Asahi and Suga making emotional faces as they were trying to hold back tears. **

**_ *I'm not sure if I will kill you two before or after I kill myself!* _ **

* * *

Everything was fine until we entered my room. I had forgotten that part. I'm really thankful that Suga and Asahi are here but even that is not helping that much. See Daichi, once again in my room? What a stupid idea.

I don't know what to do. Should I pick his bag and put on the chair as I did the last time? I kissed him after that.

[Asahi] "Is this an illustrated periodic table?"

[Kuroo] "Yes, Asahi. I kind of like chemistry, you know?"

[Suga] "Just Chemistry? What about all these books about biology, physics, math. Are they from college?"

[Daichi] **"Ok guys, no bullying Kuroo.** ** He's a nerd but we still like him, ok?" **

_ He's the one making jokes to save me this time... Damn it! _

[Kuroo] "Yeah. Behave yourselves or I'll stay with Daichi and you two are going to sleep on the couch today!"

_ *NO! That's not what I meant... shut the fuck up, Kuroo!* _

[Kuroo] "So! The party is at eight. I'm counting with you 3 to set everything up until then! Bokuto and Akaashi are coming early to help too. They'll bring the beer."

[Daichi] **"Kuroo!!"**

[Kuroo] "Don't! We are almost all grown up and we'll not allow the younger ones to drink. It's my eighteen's birthday!"

[Suga] "Yeah Daichi, it's a party. Just once, we deserve to relax."

[Daichi] **"Suga!!"**

[Kuroo] "See! I always liked him better!  Come Suga-chan, let's empty the fridge."

* * *

** Everything is set up and we're getting ready for the party. **

** Kuroo called Bokuto to help him get dressed in the bathroom. **

_** *C'mon... Seriously!? I don't need that shit... Why do I care anyway... damn it!* ** _

** " _Don't worry about outfits_ " he said.  " _We're just a group of friends at my house_ ,"  he said. **

** And then he appeared. All in black except by the deep red button-up shirt with a collar, long sleeves, and wrist cuffs. A tight vest and even tighter pants. With a black tie, obviously. **

** I won't lie. I blushed, gaped, and lost my breath. **

** As he smiled. **

[Kuroo] "Gentlemen, let's have some fun tonight!"

* * *

As soon as everybody was here I decided to officially greet my guests.

[Kuroo] "Ok guys! Before we start, let me tell you the rules!  Rule number one: You're only allowed to drink if I, Suga, or Bokuto let you do it."

Suga stared at me angrily.

[Kuroo] "I mean, Yaku! Me, Suga or Yaku!"

" _... or Yaku... _" Bokuto mocked me with a childish voice.

[Kuroo] "Rule number two: No one can leave before singing at least one song. This rule does not apply to Kenma, because I love him and this was the deal so he would come.  Rule number three: If, for any reason, when you're leaving, you don't feel that this was the best night of your life, don't leave! Stay longer until you feel that way!  And finally, some technical announcements. The karaoke we got is from my uncle. There're only English songs from 3 decades ago, but apparently, Asahi is an expert and he guarantees this is going to be great. I will drink just in case, but..."

[Asahi] "Are you kidding me? This is gold! I know most of  the songs! I've already chosen mine!"

[Hinata] "Asahi-san! Choose one for me too!"

[Kuroo] "Ok then! Let's start!"

And then 7 of the guys surrounded Asahi trying to choose a song while Kai made an organized list.

* * *

Everybody seems to be having fun.

Bokuto already chose a song to sing with Akaashi and another one to sing with me. Apparently, he's planning to sing all night long!

Daichi is laughing with Tanaka and Yamamoto. I love to see him laugh. I'm doing my best to walk around and avoid him.

[Kuroo] "So... are you going to spend the whole night just picking up songs? Who's going to sing first?"

[Asahi] "I'll be the first one!"

[Kuroo] "Great! Bring it on, Asahi!"

Everyone got together to hear him sing and when I looked, the only free spot on the room was beside Daichi.

_ *C'mon guys, are you going to be that obvious the whole night?* _

* * *

** Kuroo sat beside me to hear Asahi sing. I'd forgotten how good he smelled like. No, I didn't. He gave me a beer and we cheered. **

_ (Asahi's song: Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi) _

** When Asahi started to sing everybody was shocked and immediately turned to Suga and I looking for answers. **

[Kuroo] "Did you know he could sing!?"

[Daichi] **"No, I mean, I knew he liked music, but I never heard him sing like this before."**

** Everybody was amazed. Man, he's really good. He's a natural on "stage". Amazing. It was a real show. **

[Kuroo] "What was that Asahi!? That's not fair, you didn't tell us you have a pro in your team. C'mon Nekoma, who's next?"

** Lev stood up! **

[Lev] "Don't worry team. I got it!" 

_(Lev's song: Should I stay or should I go - The clash)_

** I swear that for one moment he almost fooled me. He was confident! I don't know what was worst, he trying to dance, sing, or both. Kuroo threw himself back on the couch on my side and I laughed so hard that I cried. Lev was having fun, I have to admit. Yaku sank his face in his hands with a grunt and Hinata and Bokuto were backing Lev up. **

** At the end of the song, we could hear Tanaka teasing Yamamoto that Karasuno would crush Nekoma today. **

[Bokuto] "Akaaxshi! We're the only representatives from Fukorodani here today! We have to sing 3 times more to beat them! Come! Let's sing this song together! Heroes! That's what we are, right?"

** I think that Akaashi already drank some beers today. He's looking a little bit more relaxed than usual. **

[Kuroo] "Do you know this song, Bo?"

[Bokuto] "No, but Akaashi said it's a good song for us to sing together."

** Kuroo looked at me. We can still talk with only our eyes. **

_ *Did you hear that?* _

_** *Yeahhh, I know...* ** _

[Kuroo] "Akaashi?"

** Akaashi was smiling! **

[Akaashi] "Don't worry Kuroo-san. This is going to be good."

[Bokuto] "Yeah! Let's rock them, Akaashi!

_ (Bokuto and Akaashi's song: Heroes - David Bowie) _

I know that Bokuto will sing the entire thing without knowing what he's singing. And I also know that Akaashi is aware of what every single word means. Some of the guys are chatting and laughing together without paying too much attention to them. But most of them were listening, although, maybe, not understanding.

Except for Daichi and me. We know what's about to happen. And we know that this could hurt, sometimes.

_ *I hope you know what you're doing Akaashi.* _

_ "And you... You can be mean... _

_ And I... I'll drink all the time... _

_ 'Cause we're lovers... And that is a fact. _

_ Yes, we're lovers... And that is that. _

_ Though nothing will keep us together... _

_ We could steal time, just for one day. _

_ We can be heroes! Forever and ever. _

_ What d'you say?" _

* * *

Daichi didn't wait until the end of the song to go to the kitchen. I don't know if I should follow him. I tried to look at Yaku, or Suga, or Kenma but none of them looked back at me. I have to stay here to see what is going to happen with these two.

The song ended. They won the audience. Akaashi can sing and Bokuto is a showman. No one can deny they're good together. I was tense-looking to Akaashi, but he looked me back and smiled, confident.

Maybe this night could be good for someone at least.

At this point, Nishnoya was preparing to sing. He's so energetic that I can't tell if he drank or not today. I hope Suga and Yaku are taking care of this.

* * *

** Everybody is having fun. It's not the time to get emotional. So, I took another beer and repeated to myself that I'm going to relax! Maybe I should choose a song for me. I should go back. **

[Yaku ] "So, your libero is going to sing. Are we going to have another surprise today? Is he a tenor or something?"

[Daichi] **"I'm their captain, Yaku. Don't you know what that means? It means I'm the last one to know!"**

** He put his arm around my shoulder and shouted to Kuroo in the living room. **

[Yaku] "He's funny Kuroo!! Why did you let him go, you idiot!? Hey!! I know this song, Yuu!"

**_ *Okay... let's have fun, Daichi... let's have fun!* _ **

_ (Nishnoya's song: Born to be wild - Steppenwolf) _

** Noya wasn't as good as Asahi, but he compensated that with enthusiasm.  **

** After that, it was Nekoma's round. Lev was trying to convince Yaku to sing some Beatles song with him. **

[Lev] "C'mon Yaku-san! Do that for your favorite kouhai!"

[Yaku] "What? Is Shibayama here?"

[Lev] "Don't be mean, Yaku-san!"

[Yaku] "Ok ok, but I'll choose the song!"

** Yamamoto and Tanaka were laughing loud! Even Kenma and Kageyama chuckled this time! **

_ (Yaku and Lev's song: Back in U.S.S.R. - The Beatles) _

** So far they haven't won a single set. **

** At the end of their song, Bokuto called Kuroo: **

[Bokuto] "Kurooo... you didn't sing yet! Come here,  I found our song, remember that one from that one video? Come on! Your first song must be mine!"

**_ *They have a song! Of course they have a song.  His first song must be with Bokuto. Of course it must.  He's strong... but I think I could break that arm... that left one that he loves to keep around Kuroo's shoulders. Or punch his mouth so he won't be able to whisper in Kuroo's ear and laugh. Where's Akaashi!? Seriously?! Man... I hope my face is not betraying me... keep smiling Daichi, go take another beer.* _ **

_ (Kuroo and Bokuto's song: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley) _

** I know the song, everybody knows the song. Why do I know this song? I don't know. But it definitely fired everyone up! Kuroo's singing... Apparently, Nekoma is not going to score a point with him either... but... it broke me... **

** He can't sing but he can definitely dance. And he thought it was a good idea to start dancing pointing at me in the chorus: **

_ "I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling _

_ Gotta make you understand _

_ Never gonna give you up _

_ Never gonna let you down _

_ Never gonna run around and desert you" _

** I gave up and started laughing. **

**_ *Ok then... so we're officially in that phase? Can we make jokes about the past now? Are we "over it"? Fine... I can play this game too...* _ **

[Daichi] **"Suga my friend, I think it's time..."**

[Suga] "It's... time?"

[Daichi] **"I think he lost that loving feeling..."**

[Suga] "OOh Daichi!! Really?? Yay! I always wanted to do that!! Asahi!!!"

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

For some reason, I thought that teasing Daichi while I was singing would be a good idea! I should stop drinking.

I know Daichi, he would be mad with something like that. But instead, he laughed and entered the game.

_ *Doesn't he even care anymore? What's wrong with me?  Would I rather him being mad?* _

He's excited about planning something with Asahi and Suga. And it seems that Tanaka and Yamamoto are going to sing.

[Yamamoto] "Let's make a Kara-Neko duo man!"

[Tanaka] "Yeah, let's take a break from the rivalry!"

[Yamamoto] "Yeahhhh"

Like Noya, I can't measure if these ones are drunk or not... They look normal for me...

_ (Yamamoto and Tanaka's song: Rock and Roll All Nite - Kiss) _

Ok. We decided their performance would count for both teams. It was awful, but certainly the most animated song so far!

When they finished, Daichi took the microphone. Apparently, he'll sing with Suga and Asahi. What are they? A boy band?

[Daichi] **"Hey you! Bokuto-san! Come here help us!"**

Daichi can be scary when he wants to. Bokuto stared at me, terrified, and Daichi called him again.

[Daichi] **"Bokuto-san! Come! Here!"**

And he obeyed, of course! Akaashi laughed so hard he choked with his drink. Yeah, it was funny.

[Kuroo] "What are you guys planning?"

[Daichi] **"This is going to be my first song of the night.** ** It should be with Bokuto-san too." **

_ *Ouch! What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that?* _

_** *You asked for this, Kuroo.* ** _

Daichi was standing between Asahi and Bokuto. Suga was in front of Daichi, with his back to us.

Do they have a choreography?

And the music began!

[E/N: Look for "Top Gun" when they sing "You've lost that lovin' feelin". That's the scene they're acting out!]

_ (Daichi's song: You've lost that lovin' fellin' - The Righteous Brothers) _

I must have missed something. Did they rehearse that?  Suddenly everybody was singing with him in a chorus!

[Akaashi] "It's from that movie", Akaashi told me.

[Kuroo] "Which movie?"

[Akaashi] "The one they play volleyball at the beach. Just say: "Ok, you can sit with me" to him at the end."

[Kuroo] "What?"

[Akaashi] "Just do it, Kuroo-san!"

He used to joke that he would sing lullabies for me. I should have made him sing!

_ *Daichi's voice. Man! What can't he do? It's not fair... I was kidding before... This is a low blow. Why am I smiling? Look at him... damn it!* _

**_"You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips_ **   
**_And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips_ **   
**_You're trying hard not to show it_ **   
**_But baby, baby I know it_ **

**_You lost that lovin' feelin'_ **   
**_Whoa, that lovin' feelin'_ **   
**_You lost that lovin' feelin'_ **   
**_Now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa-oh"_ **

** That was fun! **

** I still don't believe we did that. We joked that we would do this since we met. **

[Kuroo] "Ok , you can sit with me."

** And everybody cheered as I sat with him making a victorious pose! **

[Kuroo] "What movie is this?"

[Daichi] **"Oh c'mon. If I knew you didn't know it, I would bring my DVD. It's a classic, you gotta watch it."**

[Kuroo] "I definitely will now!"

** And we laughed! **

_** *Yeah, we're good friends now... great...* ** _

* * *

** Kai was the first point Nekoma scored tonight! **

_ (Kai's song: Take on me - A-ha) _

** The Nekoma guys celebrated as if they had won the Nationals. Then Suga took the microphone! **

_ (Suga's song: Material Girl - Madonna) _

** I was wrong. Now they celebrated as if they had won the Nationals. Suga was our first loss of the night. But it wasn't fair, it was the most hilarious one so far. That should count! **

** Bokuto is singing again. I give him that one, he's a good Elvis. **

_ (Bokuto's song: Burning Love - Elvis Presley) _

** I'm surprised Hinata didn't sing yet, he's so excited with everyone. And I think I saw Kageyama "moving" his body with some songs. But it must have been my imagination, for sure. **

** The next ones were Asahi and Noya. **

_ (Asahi and Noya's song: Wouldn't it be nice - The Beach Boys) _

** Asahi sings so well that even Noya sounded good while singing with him. But the best part was the dancing. I bet these two already did that before. They both knew the lyrics and they were so synchronized! It was great! **

** It's late. I have no idea what time it is. And here comes Kuroo. He held out his hand to me. **

[Kuroo] "Come Sawamura, let's sing one together!"

[Daichi] **"Ok, but let's ask Asahi to choose one for us. I think it would be safer."**

[Kuroo] "Fair enough! Asahi!!

I don't think Daichi was expecting this betrayal from Asahi. He literally high fived Suga when the song began.

_ *They will never leave us alone, Daichi. They will never forget. The only ones trying to do that is us...* _

_ (Kuroo and Daichi's song: Don't Stop Believin' - Journey) _

We quickly tried to chose who would begin during the intro.

_ *You first!* _

_** *No, you first!* ** _

_ *You!* _

And Daichi began.

**_ Just a small town boy _ **

**_ Livin' in a lonely world _ **

**_ He took the midnight train goin' anywhere _ **

_ Just a city boy _

_ Born and raised in south Detroit _

_ He took the midnight train goin' anywhere _

At that moment, the entire room disappeared.

And we sang... laughed... and even danced...

I left the chorus to Daichi... he sings so well...

I lost the lyrics a lot of times but he smiled and signaled me to keep singing...

_ *We're good... like good friends now... I hate we're good...* _

_ "Don't stop believin' _

_ Hold on to that feeling" _

* * *

** Kuroo and I have been playing too close to the edge all night long. **

** Maybe, because of that, we moved away from each other after that last song. **

** We were too close to falling. **

** I have to move on. **

* * *

Daichi and I had been pretending that nothing would go wrong tonight.

Maybe, because of that, we moved away from each other after that last song.

We were too close to failing.

I have to move on.

* * *

The show must go on.

[Kuroo] "Hinata and Kageyama! The only one who doesn't have to sing is Kenma! When are you planning on singing?"

[Hinata] "I'm going to sing one now!! Are you really not going to sing, Kenma?"

[Kenma] "No Shouyou, you know I won't."

[Hinata] "I think Kageyama won't sing either..."

[Kageyama] "Of course I will, boke! You think you can beat me?"

[Hinata] "But I'll sing first!"

[Kageyama] "No you won't!"

_ *I should go... sorry about that, Kenma...* _

While they were fighting, Inuoka asked Asahi for a song.

_ (Inuoka's song: Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and The Waves) _

He said he wanted a happy song. And he got it! That song elevated the mood! But unfortunately, it didn't give our team a point. Thank God we're a volleyball team and not a choir.

Asahi really likes this job. He convinced Kageyama and Hinata to sing together. And, miraculously, they were happy with the choice.

[Asahi] "Hey everyone! I think this song will be special for us! Especially because this is going to be the only opportunity for us to sing this together... So, please, let's join Kageyama and Hinata in this one!"

_ (Hinata and Kageyama's song: We are the champions - Queen) _

Man! Asahi should invest in this career.

It's past 4 am and we are 15 boys embraced with our teammates, singing and crying out loud!

_ "We are the champions, my friends _

_ And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end _

_ We are the champions _

_ We are the champions _

_ No time for losers' _

_ Cause we are the champions _

_ Of the world" _

* * *

** It almost 5 am. Hinata and Kageyama's song was truly an emotional moment. Everyone was a little shaken after that. **

** Right now, this is the scenario: **

** Noya is sleeping on the couch while Asahi is beside him, protecting him so no one would wake the boy up. **

** Hinata and Kageyama are also fast asleep, while Kenma is in between them playing his games. **

** Tanaka and Yamamoto are arm wrestling in the kitchen. **

** I have no idea where Lev or Kai is. **

** Suga, Yaku, and Inuoka are having an exciting conversation,  ** ** while Bokuto and Akaashi are at the seats at the back. **

** I'm alone in one of the couches. **

** Kuroo is seated on the floor, beside the karaoke machine, holding the microphone, flipping through the song pages. **

** He hasn't looked at me again since we sang together. **

** I stayed here, in silence. **

** Looking at him and thinking about everything. Everything we were. Everything we had. Everything we lost. I don't know how long we stayed like this. **

** A song started, but Kuroo didn't get up. He remained seated on the floor with his back at the wall. Looking at the lyrics on the karaoke pages, both arms resting on his knees. Left hand holding his head, right hand holding the microphone. **

** And then he started singing. **

_ (Kuroo's song: Against All Odds - Phil Collins) _

_ How can I just let you walk away? _

_ Just let you leave without a trace? _

_ When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh ooh _

_ You're the only one who really knew me at all _

** He started low, so low that we could barely hear him. But, slowly, he started to raise his voice. **

_ How can you just walk away from me? _

_ When all I can do is watch you leave?' _

_ Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain _

_ And even shared the tears _

_ You're the only one who really knew me at all _

** At this point, everybody was silent, looking at either him or me. I couldn't take my eyes off him, but he kept on looking down. **

_ Ooh, take a look at me now _

_ Well there's just an empty space _

_ And you coming back to me is against the odds _

_ And that's what I've got to face _

** Now, his singing was almost a scream, an angry, pained one. **

_ I wish I could just make you turn around _

_ Turn around and see me cry _

_ There's so much I need to say to you _

_ So many reasons why _

_ You're the only one who really knew me at all _

_ So take a look at me now _

_ Well there's just an empty space _

_ And there's nothing left here to remind me _

_ Just the memory of your face _

** The song is over. The silence is deafening. No one dares to move. I'm frozen, staring at Kuroo on the living room floor. I feel like I can't breathe. He doesn't move a muscle. **

** Bokuto was the one who went up to him. He walked towards Kuroo and crouched down beside him. **

_** *Thank you, Bokuto.* ** _

** He put his hand on Kuroo's shoulder. **

[Bokuto] "Kuroo..."

** Kuroo looked at him like waking from a dream. **

[Bokuto] "I need your help... I think I broke Akaashi!"

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

The song was over.

For a moment, I forgot that everybody was here. I forgot everything. And then, I heard Bokuto calling for me.

[Bokuto] "Kuroo...  I need your help... I think I broke Akaashi."

I looked over at Akaashi. Actually, everyone looked at him. If I were to describe Akaashi right now, I would say he was "thirsty". Yeah, that's how Akaashi was looking to Bokuto right now. Thirsty.

[Akaashi] "Don't worry, Kuroo-san. I can help Bokuto!"

[Bokuto] "He's calling me Bokuto! Bokuto!"

[Akaashi]  "That's your name, you silly. Come here, let's sing!"

He held Bokuto by the collar, preventing him from running away while he chose the song. I was still at the floor beside them. He took the microphone from me, raised the volume, pulled Bokuto closer, and started dancing. Akaashi was dancing and singing to Bokuto.

_ *How much did you drink, Akaashi? What have we done?* _

_ (Akaashi's song: Wild Thing - The Troggs) _

_ Wild thing, _

_ you make my heart sing _

_ You make everything groovy, wild thing _

_ Wild thing, _

_ I think I love you _

_ But I wanna know for sure _

_ Come on and hold me tight _

_ I love you _

And.. he kissed him!

* * *

** Akaashi is kissing Bokuto in the middle of the room. I'm pretty sure Kenma was recording it! Man... **

** Suddenly, Kuroo and I were no longer a problem. Some of the guys were shocked, most of them excited, and we were worried. **

** Akaashi smilled. **

[Akaashi] "Now... I can leave!"

** Then he turned around, opened the door, and walked away! **

** With a jump, Bokuto took Akaashi's jacket on the chair, his backpack at the floor, and ran after him through the front door. Kuroo started to follow him but stopped at the door. When he looked back at me, I was already taking my coat. **

_ *Daichi?* _

_** *I'm here, let's go!* ** _

** As soon I reached the door, I turned around, looking for Suga or Yaku. They gave me a thumbs-up, already taking the mic and choosing a song to sing. They should be fine. **

** When Kuroo and I caught up with them on the street, they were walking hand in hand to the bus stop. We looked at each other and smiled, then we slowed down and kept our distance from them. **

** Bokuto looked at us and nodded. **

** When we got to the bus stop, Akaashi saw us. **

[Akaashi] "Why are you following me, Kuroo? I'm not running away. I followed all the rules!  I only drank after I asked Yaku... I sang...  AND I feel this was the best night I've ever had!"

_** *Own... that was cute...* ** _

[Akaashi] "Are you following Bokuto? Bokutooo?  Are you running away?  Didn't you follow all the rules??"

[Bokuto] "I did... I followed all the rules too, Kaashi. I will call a cab and take you home. Thanks for coming guys. We're good."

It's unbelievable watching Bokuto taking care of a fragile Akaashi. And I'm not worried anymore.

As soon as they left, we were alone in the middle of the street, looking at the horizon while the sun was rising.

[Daichi] **"It's Sunday. Happy Birthday, Kuroo."**

[Kuroo]  "I'm so glad you're here."

[Daichi]  ** "Are you cold?" **

[Kuroo]  "No, why?"

[Daichi]  ** "I think I'll accept your invitation.  It's your birthday.  Let's go see the Tetsurou's Gift Path." **

We walked in silence to the Hikarigaoka Park.

When we arrived at the entrance of the Fureai no Kei, I stopped and looked at Daichi. He was amazed!

We sat on a bench to watch the path.

[Daichi] **"You were right, it's astonishing!"**

[Kuroo]  "Yeah, maybe my dad was right. It's a little bit too much."

[Daichi] **"No, it's not! I would give you this as a** ** birthday gift if I could." **

We were seated side by side, looking directly at the trees, without looking at each other. 

[Kuroo] "What are we doing, Daichi?"

[Daichi]  ** "I don't know. Maybe just moving on..." **

[Kuroo] "I wish I had never broken up with you."

[Daichi] **"Yeah.. me too... But I feel like we're good now... as much as possible... and I hate this..."**

[Kuroo]  "This sucks!"

We remained silent for a while. The sun was high in the sky and we could see the trees shining!

[Daichi] **"Oh, I almost forgot! I brought you this!"**

He took a little package from his coat pocket. It was a golden dagger pendant necklace.

[Daichi] **"For your rogue! I don't think you need any shield, Kuroo! I did some research, you know..."**

[Kuroo] "I don't know what to say."

[Daichi] **"Nothing! Just wear it, if you want to. But not during the games!"**

[Kuroo] "Thank you, Daichi."

I put on the necklace. Then I took a deep breath, got up, and held out my hand to him!

[Kuroo] "Ok Captain! This is what I'm going to do! After I win the Nationals and graduate, I'll pick you in Miyagi and take you to the beach for a vacation."

He looked at me, with a serious expression.

[Daichi] **"I'm sorry, Kuroo. This is not gonna happen."**

Then he got up, shook my hand, and smiled.

[Daichi] **"I'm the one who's going to win Nationals!"**

We laughed and decided it was time to go back home.

* * *


	11. Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Bokuaka filler**
> 
> Bokuto's lines in Bold  
> Akkashi's lines underlined

** As soon as we got inside the taxi, Akaashi passed out in my shoulder, and I gave my address to the driver. **

** I laid him on my bed, took off his shoes, his belt, unbuttoned his collar, covered him with the blanket, shoved his hair back away from his face, and sat hugging my knees to my chest on the other side of the bedroom, without taking my eyes off him. **

**_ *What did you do Akaashi? Did you know what are you doing? Are you going to be mad at me when you wake up? What if you hate me tomorrow?* _ **

**_ *Why didn't you tell me before? Did you?* _ **

**_ *Or there's nothing for you to tell me... Were you just drunk?* _ **

**_ *Is there any way for us to stay here? Forever? I need you, Kaashi.* _ **

**_ *What if you never talk with me again?* _ **

**_ *What if you never... I need you Akaashi...* _ **

**_ *What if we screwed up everything?* _ **

**_ *How have I never noticed how much I wanted that?* _ **

**_ *What should I do? How can I prevent you from regretting this night?* _ **

**_ *What will I do when you wake up?* _ **

** Akaashi moved. **

[Akaashi] "Bokuto..."

** I ran up to him and sat on the bed by his side. **

[Bokuto] ** "What is it, Akaashi? I'm here!" **

** He was sleeping... **

[Akaashi] "Bokuto... do you love me?"

** I took him by the shoulders and shook him. **

[Bokuto] ** "Akaashi, wake up! Wake up, Akaashi, look at me!" **

** He opened his eyes and looked at me frowning. **

[Bokuto] ** "I do, Akaashi! I love you, please don't forget this when you wake up." **

** He was sleeping again. **

** I put my arm above his head and laid beside him. I was almost falling off the edge of the bed, but I managed to fit there. **

** I stayed awake for a little, watching Akaashi breathing before slept out. **

** When I woke up, it was 2 in the afternoon already, Akaashi was still asleep. I sat on the bed, rubbed my face, and went to the shower without making a sound. **

* * *

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a night table. I wasn't thinking well. My head was killing me. But then I recognized his perfume on the pillow.

_ *What the hell is happening? I'm in Bokuto's room! I'm on Bokuto's bed! How? Why? Oh God, what happened? He's in the shower?!?! Oh, I'm dressed, thank god! Calm down Akaashi. Breathe! Think! What happened? Breathe, Akaashi! Try to organize your thoughts.* _

I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head on my hands. I didn't even know that it was possible for my head to hurt so much!

Then, I heard the shower stop. And my heart and breath decided to stop too.

* * *

He entered the room and stared at me. He looked different.

[Akaashi] "Bokuto-san?"

[Bokuto] **"So... you're back."**

**_ *Ok, Bokuto, remember what you practiced in the shower. You can do it.* _ **

_ *Bokuto is calm, too calm. He's not laughing or grumpy. What's happening?* _

[Akaashi] "What... How am I... Why am I... Where...  Ok. What happened?"

**_*I've never seen Akaashi like this. Did I really break him?*_ **

_ *So I'm completely lost and Bokuto is the reasonable one now?* _

[Bokuto] **"So, you don't remember... anything?**

[Akaashi] "No... I mean... somethings...but... ohh my head... I can't discern what was real or a dream..."

**_ *A dream...* _ **

_ *Is he smiling?* _

[Akaashi] "I... should go home..."

[Bokuto]  ** "No! You're not going anywhere! We have to talk about... everything... I won't let you go until we talk. But first, you're going to take a shower. Here, you can use this! I'm going to make something for us to eat! That's it, shower, breakfast, and talk." **

[Akaashi] "Wow, How long did I sleep? When did you grow up like this?"

[Bokuto]  ** "Yesterday!  After you called me  your Hero...  and kissed me!" **

**_ *Ohhh... that's not what I rehearsed... ok, don't panic, you're doing great, Bokuto. Keep on going with the plan.* _ **

_ *WHAT!? So that really happened?? Why are you so calm, Bokuto!!! Could you please freak out with me?!?* _

[Bokuto] **"Akaashi... Shower! Go! Have your ever eaten french toasts? Oh, don't worry... shower!"**

**_ *I'm feeling great! Despite my heart beating hard on my throat... Is that normal?* _ **

_*Holly crap! Who is this? Did I break Bokuto?*_

* * *

When I entered the kitchen, Bokuto was really trying to make breakfast for us. He was trying really hard.

**_ *I know I need sliced bread ... a stove, or should it be in the oven? Milk? Eggs? Flour? Salt, not sugar! Or both? Can I add chocolate? Why don't I know how to cook... I wish I could impress him...* _ **

_ *Ohh Bokuto... Did you put the entire pantry on the counter? I've never seen you like that. What should I do? How are we going to do that? Are you really going to make this easy like this?* _

[Akaashi] "Do you want help?"

[Bokuto] **"No... but I need to... I'm sorry Kaashi..."**

_ *Ok... that's my Bokuto... He looks so cute with this apron...* _

**_ *He's smiling. He's not mad! He looks so good in my clothes...* _ **

[Akaashi] "Ok... first, we don't  need all of this..."

_ *I think we can do it, Bokuto...* _

**_ *Everything is so easier when he's nearby.* _ **

* * *

** It was like a truce. Akaashi showed me how to make french toasts, and even let me make one by myself. **

[Akaashi] "Do you usually eat french toasts for breakfast?"

[Bokuto] **"No... but I thought it would be different... you know?"**

[Akaashi] "Fair enough... but let's make some proper food too."

** I thought we made way too much food, but we were both starving. We ate miso soup, rice, fried salmon, nanohana no karashiae, nato and french toasts. It was delicious. **

[Bokuto] **"How do you know all these things?"**

[Akaashi] "You don't? Your parents are not at home. What would you eat today?"

[Bokuto]  ** "I don't know... an orange or an apple?" **

** And he laughed. **

** For almost an hour, while we were cooking and eating, we talked about food, childhood, grandparents, getting older, being adult, graduation, partings... And then we stopped... **

** We were back to reality again. **

**_ *Ok... it's time. You can do this, Bokuto. Tell him what you've planned earlier today!* _ **

_ *Ok... it's time. We can't pretend nothing happened... You need to talk with him!* _

**And we both start talking at the same time.**

[Bokuto] **"Akaashi..."**

[Akaashi] "Bokuto-san..."

[Bokuto] **"What?"**

[Akaashi] "What?"

[Bokuto]  ** "Let me talk first..." **

[Akaashi] "Let me talk first..."

[Bokuto] **"Ab** **out yesterday..." **

[Akaashi] "Ab out yesterday..."

[Bokuto] **"Please,** ** don't say you're sorry" **

[Akaashi]  "I'm...  sorry..."

[Bokuto] **"Nooo Akaashi... you're not sorry... please...**

** I know you're not... Are you? **

** But now I know... **

** you showed me that... **

** now... I know... **

** Don't say you're sorry... **

** Don't ask me to forget... **

** I want more songs... **

** I want more breakfasts... **

** I want more... you..." **

[Akaashi] "Bokuto..."

** Akaashi was starring at me. **

[Bokuto] **"Ohh... Did I... Did I say that out loud!?"**

** He got up, went around the table, and knelt by my side. **

[Akaashi] "How are we going to do this?"

[Bokuto]  ** "I don't know... you're the one who knows things here..." **

[Akaashi]  "Are you sure is that what you want?"

[Bokuto]  ** "Oh... I know this one! Yes, I'm sure Kaashi... are you?" **

** He's smiling again!! **

[Akaashi] "Yes I am. I always was, Bokuto."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

**Kenma, Kageyama, and Hinata are gone.**

**Asahi and Noya are sleeping on the couch. Tanaka, Yamamoto, and Inuoka on the rug.**

**We found Lev and Kai sleeping behind the sofa.**

**Suga and Yaku are still singing.**

**It's 8 am!**

[Daichi] **"Suga... our train leaves at 5 pm... I'm going to sleep!"**

**They gave us another thumbs-up without stoping the singing or dancing.**

**Kuroo threw himself on the bed passed out. I did the same thing on mine. I couldn't stay awake any longer, but I did my best, waiting to see if he would slip into my bed.**

**He did. And we both fell asleep.**

* * *

**We're on the train back home. It seems that everyone has a great and funny story to tell about yesterday, and despite everyone looking like zombies, we're all feeling good. Even I am, I guess...**

**So many things happened this weekend but I still feel like nothing happened. It's complicated. Once, I said that everything with Kuroo was easy. I'm not sure about that anymore.**

[Suga] "So... what about you two? It's everything ok? Are you... back?"

[Daichi] **"I don't know, Suga. We're good... we're not back... I guess... But we're good... When we talked about it, Kuroo mentioned something about an Austrian cat I think... Have you ever heard this joke? I have no idea what he was talking about..."**

[Suga] "An Austrian cat? Maybe it's a Nekoma joke..."

[Daichi] **"I don't know... I wish things had been different... but I don't know exactly what... Just let's go home... and look forward... Right now, I'm worried about how are we going to practice tomorrow..."**

* * *

The Karasuno guys are gone now. They were looking sick and tired, but everyone was laughing and happy about the party. It was a success. Everything was perfect. Even for me, I guess...

In the end, everything was so much better than I expected. But it's like the weekend left a bitter taste in my mouth. Once, I said that Daichi made everything tastier. I'm not sure about that anymore.

[Yaku] "So... what about you two? It's everything ok? Are you... back?"

[Kuroo] "I don't know, Yaku. First, everything was awkward, then we were good, later we were strangers again, then fine again, then everything was ruined, and we went to the park and we were back again, but we weren't... I told him, we're now the Schrödinger's cat couple."

[Yaku] "Are you a cat? OK. Should I feel happy for you or not?"

[Kuroo] "I don't know... but that's what I have for now... I must go on... one day at a time... tomorrow, for example, when I'll have to explain to Nekomata why half of the team looks like a bunch of undead..."

* * *

**Ukai didn't scold us as much as I expected.**

**Hinata and Noya were brand new but the other guys, including me, were useless today.**

**We have less than two months before Nationals.**

**Now things are getting serious.**

**There's so much to do!**

* * *

Nekomata was angrier than I expected. Kenma and Lev were completely fine but the other guys, including me, were useless today.

The Nationals are coming, I understand his reaction, but man...

Now things are getting serious.

There's so much to do!

* * *

Daichi texted me on Sunday to tell me they were at home and well. We chatted a bit.

Then I texted him on Monday to ask about how was the practice after the party.

He texted me on Tuesday to ask what was the name of the song that Kai sang on Saturday.

I texted him on Wednesday to ask about a shoe I found behind the couch. (It was Tanaka's)

Then he texted me on Thursday to ask about Bokuto and Akaashi.

**[09:54 pm: Hey, Kuroo.]**

[09:54 pm: Hey, Daichi, what's up?]

**[09:55 pm: I was about to ask you, do you have news from Bokuto and Akaashi? Is everything ok with them?]**

[09:56 pm: Oh yeah. Apparently they're great. I've never seen Bokuto like that. He's happy, confident. I'm glad that they finally made up]

**[10:01 pm: Yeah. That's great.]**

[10:06 pm: Yeah it is.]

**[10:10 pm: Yeah. I'm happy for them too. Anyways. Thank you for telling me. Tell Bokuto I'm happy for them.]**

[10:10 pm: Sure.]

**[10:13 pm: Cool]**

**[10:14 pm: Cya, Kuroo]**

[10:17 pm: See you, Daichi]

That was 13 days ago. We didn't text each other after that.

* * *

**I haven't talked to Kuroo in the past 2 weeks.**

**After practice today, the team was wondering about our possible matches during Nationals.**

[Hinata] "I'm only saying that Fukurodani is more dangerous than before. I've talked with Bokuto-san. He told me that after Kuroo's birthday, their team is getting better and better."

[Tanaka] "That's not fair! They start dating AND improve their game?!"

[Hinata] "Who's dating?"

[Kageyama] "Hinata you boke!"

**I did my best to remain calm as that awkward silence grew.**

**_*That's great. Now I have to feel guilty because Kuroo and I broke up? We broke up because of you idiots!! Don't look me like that!! Bokuto and Akaashi are both morons! They don't know what they're doing! Do you think I chose that!?*_ **

**I swear they spent almost an entire minute in silence looking at me! Then, our brilliant fresh manager saved me.**

[Yachi] "Well, we're not going to face Fukurodani or any other team if we don't practice and focus on the first game. One game at a time... right? What about go home and rest for tomorrow's practice?"

[Daichi] **"Yachi is right! It's late! Enough gossip for today! Go home all of you! GO!"**

**And I left the gym without waiting for anyone!**

**_*Shimizu was one of the best things that ever happen to this team, but bringing Yachi here was the icing on the cake! That girl really knows how to deal with these guys. Thank you, Yachi.*_ **


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILER ALERT** Season 4 and Manga volume 35 and up!
> 
> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

**Today is the last day of the year, and in five days we're going to Tokyo for Nationals!**

**He didn't text me anymore, neither did I.**

**For some reason, I thought something happened on his birthday. And for some time I thought that maybe we could make it. Even if it was only after Nationals and everything.**

**But apparently, time just chilled everything down, and now I'm feeling so cold.**

* * *

Today is the last day of the year, and in five days we're going to Nationals!

He didn't text me anymore, neither did I.

The last time we were together was like a trap. I thought that we would be fine after all that happened. But it didn't last long, and I haven't spoken to him in 39 days now. It was a trap, and I fell for it.

I don't know when or why things went wrong like this, and now I'm feeling so down.

* * *

**Today is the last day of the year. It's my birthday!**

**And it will be the last day I'll wait for something before I forget him forever.**

* * *

Today is the last day of the year. It's his birthday!

And I have 24 hours to decide if I'll call him or forget him forever.

* * *

[23:51 pm: Hey. Are you sleeping?]

**[23:51 pm: I was.]**

[23:52 pm: Liar...Can I call you?]

**[23:52 pm: You know what time it is, right?]**

[23:53 pm: Yes. But it's still your birthday. I'm sorry for taking so long.]

**[23:53 pm: It's ok.]**

[23:54 pm: So, can I call you?]

**[23:54 pm: Yes, Kuroo. You can call me.]**

[23:54 pm: Now?]

**[23:55 pm: Yes, Kuroo. You can call me NOW.]**

[Kuroo] "Happy birthday, Daichi."

[Daichi] **"Thanks, Kuroo."**

[Kuroo] "How was your day?"

[Daichi] **"It was good."**

[Kuroo] "Still no dogs?"

[Daichi] **"I think I'm too old to get a dog for my birthday."**

[Kuroo] "I guess so... I'm sorry... hehehe"

[Daichi] **"So... how are things going?"**

[Kuroo] "Fine... the last month was crazy you know... and now... everything is almost over..."

[Daichi] **"Yeah, it's scary, right? In one week from now, everything is going to be over... "**

[Kuroo] "Sure! The last years were all about volleyball. We wanted this for so long. And now it's here. Right on the end."

[Daichi] **"Have you thought that... in one month from now... maybe... we'll not be playing volleyball anymore?"**

[Kuroo] "Yes!! Gezz... but you know... I like to think that at least we had that, you know... I mean... what if Nekoma didn't have a volleyball club?! Can you imagine?"

[Daichi] **"Why are we talking about that? This is the worst birthday call ever!"**

[Kuroo] "Hahaha You started!"

[Daichi] **"No, I didn't!"**

[Kuroo] "Yes, you did! I would never make a bad birthday call. I'm Kuroo! I make the best calls ever!"

[Daichi] **"Hahaha ok, so try again because so far, in less than 10 minutes you have reminded me that I still don't have a dog, that this will be our last time playing volleyball AND gave me material for terrible nightmares!"**

[Kuroo] "Wow, that bad? Ok... should I call you again or should I pretend we've just started? Hey, Daichi! Happy birthday! Did you know that life expectancy for men increased to 79.94 years in 2012! It means that 22,51% of your life is gone now! You're welcome! "

[Daichi] **"Hahahahah don't do that! I can't laugh out loud at this hour! Everyone is sleeping here!"**

We talked until 2 am.

About everything.

Except about us.

And that's it.

Our time is over.

The Nationals are here.

It's game time!

* * *

**We're here!**

**The Spring InterHigh at Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium.**

**It's huge! 52 schools from all over the country are here today!**

**I've seen Fukurodani's team, but I haven't seen Nekoma yet.**

**_*Where are they?*_ **

* * *

We're here!

The Spring InterHigh at the Orange Court. 

It's huge! 52 schools from all over the country are here today!

I've seen Fukurodani's team, but I haven't seen Karasuno yet.

_ *Oh! Here they are.* _

[Kuroo] "Yo."

**_*Hmm I know this voice...*_ **

_ *Don't give me that look...* _

[Kuroo] "Did you finally see the real Skytree? You country bumpkin crows."

**I haven't seen him for almost two months. For a moment, a stupid moment, I thought I had forgotten him.**

**_*Not too close, Kuroo, please...*_ **

_ *Oh he looks great...* _

[Kuroo] "Oh dear me. Are you actually nervous, Sawamura-san?"

[Daichi] **"Pretty sure talking too much is a sign of nervousness, Kuroo-san."**

**_*Don't tease me, Kuroo...*_ **

_ *Hey ... no need to be mean...* _

**And they called the teams for the opening ceremonies.**

**_*See you later, Kuroo, good luck.*_ **

_ *See you later, Daichi, good luck.* _

* * *

**After our first game, we had lunch watching Nekoma's game. Unlike our match, I was calm and sure that they would win. And they did.**

**The day passed quickly!**

**We watched a lot of games. Every team here is really good, and those who advance to the next phase are even better.**

**We'd passed! And tomorrow we're going to face the next one.**

* * *

We watched Karasuno's match before ours. I thought I would be nervous about them, but I wasn't. I knew they would win. And they did.

Then it was our turn!

We passed. And we had time to watch some other games after that. The level of the teams here is insane.

We'd moved on! And tomorrow we're going to face the next one.

* * *

**It was time to went back to the hotel!**

[Kuroo] "Hey there, now..."

**_*I don't even have to turn around to know the way he is smiling.*_ **

_ *I can imagine his face even before he turns around.* _

[Kuroo] "Looks like we've got us some country bumpkin crows. Good for you. You came all this way and you don't have to go back immediately."

**_*Really? Do you remember that?*_ **

_ *Yes, Daichi... I remember* _

[Kuroo] "Well... try to survive tomorrow too."

[Daichi] **"Right back at you."**

* * *

**As soon as we turned around I stop smiling. I'm sure he stopped too.**

**_*Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. And maybe... the last... for one of us... or both... what will I do if you lose and we pass? Or if you pass and we... I can't deal with this double task!*_ **

**_*What am I gonna do?*_ **

**_*Good luck tomorrow, Kuroo.*_ **

**_*For both of us.*_ **

* * *

As soon as we turned around I stop smiling. I'm sure he stopped too.

_ *More than ever I think you were right, Daichi. I can't handle this for both of us. It's hard enough just for me. But when I think that you're feeling the same. It's even harder.* _

_ *How will I do this?* _

_ *Good luck tomorrow, Daichi.* _

_ *For both of us.* _

* * *

**Later that night, Asahi came out to talk with me.**

[Daichi] **"Hey Asahi, you can do that thing now. "**

[Asahi] "Huh?"

[Daichi] **"That thing that you mention that it's finally our last tournament or something. I didn't let you say it at the Inter-High."**

[Asahi] "That probably isn't the time for that. It's sorta weird, though. When you're all panicking, I somehow don't feel panicky for once."

[Daichi] **"Oh, shut up."**

[Asahi] "I'm serious... and it's just the last tournament. It's not everything that's over, you know..."

**_*I think it is, Asahi... I think it is...*_ **

[Daichi] **"Yeah. You're right. But let's win tomorrow and make it last a little bit more ok?"**

[Asahi] "Deal!"

* * *

Later that night, Yaku came out to talk with me.

[Yaku] "Hey Kuroo, why the surly face? What's up? "

[Kuroo] "Hmpf"

[Yaku] "It's going to end, Kuroo. We knew that. But c'mon. It was good, isn't it? It doesn't matter how is going to end. Damn, we're here!"

[Kuroo] "You're right, Yaku. Three years of "you're right, Yaku" over my head. At least I'll be happy when this is over. And I'll miss... all of this"

[Yaku] "Don't be sentimental..."

[Kuroo] "Did I say I'll miss this?! I mean I won't... hehe We did it, Yaku, we're here, but after this, everything will be over."

_ *Everything... over...* _

[Yaku] "See, you've learned something. Now, YOU're right! Just let's win tomorrow, ok?"

[Kuroo] "Deal"

* * *

**We did it! We both did it!**

**And tomorrow, Karasuno and Nekoma are going to face each other on the court in the 3rd round, also known as Hell Day.**

**[22:17 pm: Hey.]**

[22:18 pm: I was wondering if I should text you.]

**[22:19 pm: Me too. For the past 2 hours.]**

[22:27 pm: So... I can't think of any joke or funny comment right now.]

**[22:33 pm: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have texted you.]**

[22:35 pm: Of course you should have!]

**_*But tomorrow, at least one of us is going home. And I'm freaking out to think that I'll never see you again! There'll be no more games, practices, nothing. Everything that connected us will be over... Talk with me Kuroo? What is your plan? You have a plan, right?*_ **

_ *And then what? Why I can't imagine what is going to happen then? What if we win? Are you going to forgive me? What if we lose? How are we going to do that? How are we going to restart everything? Will you talk to me again? One day? Why didn't we see this coming?!* _

[22:40 pm: We're going to have a good game tomorrow, right?]

**[22:40 pm: We will, right? The best game of the tournament!]**

[22:42 pm: Yeah! We can do that, together.]

**[22:43 pm: Let's do this, one last time.]**

[22:45 pm: One last time.]

**[22:47 pm: Good luck tomorrow, Kuroo.]**

[22:48 pm: Good luck tomorrow, Daichi.]

* * *

**We did it! We did the best game of the Nationals! And now it's over. Oh my god, it's over.**

**We're exhausted! I don't know what to do. We really did it. Asahi. Suga. Karasuno. We really did it.**

**Thank you, guys. I'll never forget this! Thank you!**

**It was time to line up.**

* * *

We did it! We did the best game of the Nationals! And now it's over. Oh my god, it's over.

I don't know what to do. Kenma. Kai. Yaku. I don't know what to do. It's really over.

Thank you, guys. I'll never forget this! Thank you!

It was time to line up.

* * *

We greeted each one of our friends across the net until reached their captain.

**_*I should never have let a net stand between us.*_ **

_ *One last handshake, Captain... Wait... What?* _

**I crossed under the net to the other side and hugged him tightly.**

[Daichi] **"Thank you, Kuroo!"**

[Kuroo] "Thank you, Captain, for everything."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading guidelines:
> 
> Daichi's lines are bolded  
> Kuroo's lines are underlined

**Looking back, I always think of all the things I would do differently.**

**Then I realize that things are going to be exactly the way they should be, and all we can do is live them as they are.**

**Yes, I'm talking about Kuroo and me. And everything else that begins and ends.**

**Today is my graduation.**

**And this is how this story ends.**

* * *

**I didn't talk with him for the past two months.**

**After the Nationals, before we came back to Miyagi, we kissed and spent the evening together for one last time. But back then, I didn't realize that it was a farewell.**

**We've talked once after that and never more.**

**I still think about him almost every day. Sometimes it's good. Most of the time, it's not. But I believe time will take care of it, as always.**

* * *

**Speaking of time, today is a very special day. We're graduating! It's the end of this amazing period we lived together!**

**Suga, Asahi, Shimizu...**

**The volleyball club!**

**I am so blessed that I had all of this.**

**And everything today is being so intense.**

* * *

**It was a really cool ceremony. I confess I thought I would be sad, but I wasn't. We're all feeling so good today!**

**At the end of graduation, it was difficult to walk among all people cheering us.**

**Then I saw him!**

**Kuroo's grandfather was waving at me. Alone.**

**_*Wait, what is Kuroo's grandfather doing here? Where's Kuroo? Why is he alone? What happened? What is Kuroo's grandfather doing here? Why did he come to Miyagi!? What's happening... where's Kuroo? I can't see him anywhere...*_ **

**I walked towards him.**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Sawamura-san! It was a lovely ceremony! Congratulations!"

[Daichi] **"T-thank you, Kuroo-san. I wasn't expecting to see you here today! Thank you for coming."**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Ohh Tetsurou insisted, you know? We're going to the beach, a little trip after his graduation. And he told me we should come here to see you first. It's my pleasure!"

[Daichi] **"Wow, I'm really glad you came! Where is Tetsurou?"**

**_Ok... Kuroo's here, he's really going to the beach... and he came here first? What are you doing Kuroo? Is this really happening? Are you really crazy?_ **

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Ahh he's with his captain. He was bored with the long ceremony then he and Tetsurou went for a walk. I think he spoils him, you know?"

[Daichi] **"His... captain?"**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Oh, I thought you knew it... Tetsurou didn't tell you? It's been like... two months now? They're always together, it's weird that Tetsurou didn't mention him to you..."

**_*Is Kuroo with someone? His captain? WHO is this guy?*_ **

**_*TWO MONTHS!?*_ **

**_*I can't believe this is happening! WHEN did this happen?*_ **

**_*WHY? HOW?*_ **

**_*Why did he come here with another guy!?*_ **

**_*His... CAPTAIN!? Why is he doing this? I think I can't breathe...*_ **

**_*Kuroo is going to travel to the beach with his captain after graduation!! And he decided to bring him HERE, to show me that!!! WHY!? Why is he... WHY?*_ **

**Kuroo's grandpa looked over my shoulder.**

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Oh there they are!"

**I couldn't move. I couldn't look at them. I couldn't move!**

[Kuroo] "Hey Captain, say hello to Daichi Sawamura, he's the guy we were talking about!"

* * *

**I couldn't move. I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to make my heart beat again.**

[Kuroo] "Daichi?"

**I opened my eyes and saw Kuroo smiling and kissing the cutest white Akita puppy I've ever seen.**

[Daichi] **"Is... is he your captain?"**

[Kuroo] "Our Captain! He's everybody's Captain, to be honest, he's The Captain, right Captain? Aren't you? The World's Captain!?"

[Daichi] **"I'll kill you!"**

**And Captain barked... a high-pitched bark... the fluffiest ever!**

[Kuroo] "Don't worry, Captain... He's kidding, he's not going to kill me, he says that since the first day he saw me and look at us... I told you Daichi is grumpy sometimes, remember? But we love him anyway."

**He kissed him again while he looked at me. Then his expression became worried.**

[Kuroo] "Let's go talk a little... Gramps, do you mind waiting a little bit?"

[Kuroo's grandfather] "Of course not, I'll be waiting for you here."

**I nodded and followed him.**

**We sat on a bench beside the gym.**

[Daichi] **"Kuroo... we haven't spoken for more than two months... what is all of this... are you crazy?"**

[Daichi] _"Oh c'mon... that's not new!"_

**I laughed.**

[Kuroo] "No, I promised myself that I wouldn't make jokes. Here, hold Captain, he was so excited to meet you. I wrote down everything I want to say so I won't forget anything"

**He gave me Captain, passed his leg over the bench so that he was facing me, took a folded paper out of his pocket, and stayed looking at it for a moment.**

**Then he took a deep breath and started reading:**

[Kuroo] "Daichi... 

No, no, this is not gonna work!"

**He crumpled the paper and stuffed it back into his pocket.**

[Kuroo] "Look... we did it... we passed through everything... right? 

I should never have let you go that night in that garden... never! 

But now... we can finish this, right? 

I mean... begin... start... restart... 

Come with me! 

Our trip... remember... to the beach... with our dog... 

I've never stopped loving you, Daichi... and I wish I would never be away from you again... 

Say yes! Please."

**I don't know how I could do that, but I stood up, gave Captain back to him, and said:**

[Daichi] **"Kuroo... I think you should call your grampa."**

[Kuroo] "W-what?"

**I held out my hand to him.**

[Daichi] **"You're going have to talk with my parents! And I'm sure he will help!"**

**I missed his smile so much!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me (Sansmerci), Kuroo and Daichi are canon, and simply perfect for each other. That's why I wrote this. To show everybody what happened between them on backstages... I'm planning to write some shorts about their vacation on the beach... let's see...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> I hope you've liked our fic :)


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an epilogue!
> 
> They're at the beach, and they have visitors.

**The weather is not warm enough yet, so the beach is quiet and empty most of the days. And it’s great! We spend our days with the same routine since we came here. A little jog in the morning, casual naps on the sand in the middle of the day, long walks before the sunset, sugoroku with Kuroo’s grandfather at night… No, it’s not boring, It’s fantastic and you should try it! Trust me!**

**Today is Saturday, and all the tranquility of the week is gone, since Bokuto and Akaashi came to spend the weekend with us.**

**I know, and you know that Bokuto is a loud guy, but after a week of listening to basically nothing but Kuroo’s voice, it took me a bit longer to settle my mindset to the new volume of the environment.**

**The first thing we did was play beach volleyball, of course. We tried all different duos and the result was always the same: whatever team Akaashi was on won every single time, period.**

**Akaashi was pretty cool with that, but when Bokuto tried to claim that Akaashi’s victories were also his, (since he’s his boyfriend and bla bla bla) to tease Kuroo that he won… they started the “competition”.**

**It's been almost 2 hours. They've already bet on running (Kuroo won), they wrestled (they ended up tied because neither I nor Akaashi wanted to judge that), they threw stones into the water (Bokuto won), and now they're building sandcastles to see which one will end up bigger, better or more beautiful, I'm not sure.**

**During this time, Akaashi and I went for a walk, ate ice cream, practiced some drills with volleyball, talked about the nationals, and then they started to shout with each other because, apparently, a section of Bokuto’s sandcastle was ruined and he said it was the wind so to be fair they have to destroy a section of Kuroo’s one too and now they’re just throwing sand at each other’s castles, and decided to start over, again!**

[Daichi] **“They’ve known each other for how long now? Three years?”**

[Akaashi] “In this reality, yes. But sometimes I think they’ve known each other since forever…”

[Daichi] **“Yeah, I know…”**

[Akaashi] “They’re great together.”

[Daichi] **“Have you ever felt jealous?? I mean, about them?”**

[Akaashi] “Oh yeah… all the time!”

[Daichi] **“Haha, it’s good to know… I thought I was the only one…”**

[Daichi] **“But at least you've known them for longer than me ... I always feel like an intruder, you know? They have so many stories... I never told anyone this before, maybe because I think it's wrong... but I'm jealous when I think Bokuto knows Kuroo better than I do…”**

[Akaashi] “Kuroo said that you’re the only one who really knows him”

[Daichi] **“He did?”**

[Akaashi] “Actually, he sang, remember?”

[Daichi] **“So you weren’t that drunk! You weren’t that drunk at all!!! You do remember everything about that night, Akaashi!”**

[Akaashi] “I confess that I was a little lost when I woke up, but, after a shower, my mind was clear again… I was paying attention, you know…”

[Daichi] **“Hahaha I love it!”**

[Akaashi] “Anyways, I don’t think you have to worry about it… Even though you haven’t known each other for that long, you’re really good together, everybody can see that… And it’s amazing, you’ve known each other for less than a year, right?”

[Daichi] **“Yeah, there hasn’t even been a year yet…”**

[Akaashi] “You know the exact day, don’t you?”

[Daichi] **“… May 6 th… you?”**

[Akaashi] “February 27th was the day I saw him first, April 7th when we met… You met Kuroo in a practice game, right?”

[Daichi] **“Yeah, I don’t even know why I remember that… I hated him at the first sight… I thought he was a complete jerk… Can you believe that?”**

[Akashi] “Oh I most definitely can”

[Daichi] **“Yeah… but in my defense, Kuroo strives to maintain that image! Ahh who I am trying to fool, the truth is I couldn’t stop thinking about him since we met and at that point, I thought it was because he was annoying and an idiot… it was easier to think like that.”**

[Akaashi] “It’s not fair, Kuroo is a nice guy... but you’re right, sometimes he doesn’t help.”

[Daichi] **“What about you? I doubt you thought Bokuto was an idiot when you first met him…”**

[Akaashi] “No, not for a second... I thought he was a star! Actually, from the first time I saw him I _knew_ he was a star ... And it was terrifying when I realized that he was more than that for me... I mean… who is naive enough to dream of catching a star...”

[Daichi] **“Oh my god, the Little Prince”**

[Akaashi] “What?!”

[Daichi] **“I’m sorry… haha Kuroo has been calling you ‘Little Prince’ since his birthday and I didn’t know why… oh god… that’s a good one… I’m sorry, Akaashi… hahaha”**

[Akaashi] “Hmpf… technically the Little Prince caught a comet… but it’s ok… I like it… Just don’t tell him!! I’m not going to give him this victory so easily… that smartass…”

[Daichi] **“That was a good one, for sure… but don’t worry, I won’t ever tell Kuroo that you liked it too!”**

[Akaashi] “I appreciate your support, Sawamaura-san.”

[Daichi] **“We have to work as a team if we’re going to follow those two!”**

**And then silence fell upon us…**

**Following them… that’s a sensitive topic…**

[Akaashi] “Are you applying for Colleges in Tokyo?”

[Daichi] **“Yeah, a couple of them, but I didn’t get anything yet… we talked about it this week, it’s quite possible that we’ll go to the same college but… I don’t know… do you think it’s stupid to decide something like that based on your teenage boyfriend? I mean, we should choose based on… I don’t know… other aspects, you know?”**

[Akaashi] “It doesn’t sound stupid… Sawamura-san… if you could, don’t let the college separate you guys… I mean, at least you guys have this choice…”

[Daichi] **“I’m sorry, man… Have you talked about it? Are you worried about this year?”**

[Akaashi] “Oh, it’s nothing! I’m not worried, I’m going to stay with him forever.”

[Daichi] **“Woah… really? Just like that?”**

[Akaashi] “Just like that. Don’t you feel the same?”

[Daichi] **“I don’t know… I actually didn’t think about it… we’re just starting... we’re just eighteen… it seems too soon to think like that… isn’t it?”**

[Akaashi] “Ok, try this: do you have any doubt that Kuroo and Bokuto will be together forever?”

[Daichi] **“Not at all, they’ll stay together, for sure…”**

[Akaashi] “Now try to explain to me why it would be different with you two…”

**Kuroo and Bokuto came to us, embracing each other and laughing.**

[Kuroo] “What have you guys been talking about for so long?”

**We grinned at each other.**

[Akaashi] “Oh, while you were out, Sawamura-san and I realized that we’ll be together for the rest of our lives.”

[Bokuto] “WHAT? Kuroo!!! Do something!”

**Bokuto jumped over to Akaashi, trying to pull him away while Kuroo looked at me, raising an eyebrow.**

[Daichi] **“Don’t look at me like this… it’s true.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> I'm planning to add some extras parts here and there... like Kuroo and Suga planning his trip to Miyagi after the training camp... the letter Kuroo wrote to read for Daichi after the graduation... Kuroo's grandmother talking with Kenma about Kuroo and Daichi... little things like that... we're open to suggestions ;3
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments!


End file.
